Dubious Discourse

escolopendror · Aug 15, 2024

Dubious Disc said:
Also the Wild East stuff was a real slog and idk if I have the patience for it.

Yee aww

That was my favourite part of the game lol
I love Undertale Yellow but it has massive pacing and balancing issues. My personal 'slog' part was Steamworks; the area itself is great but I hate Ceroba for some reason, it felt very repetitive and the Axis battle sucked ass. Replaying the game takes a different kind of determination I don't have because some battles drained the life out of me lmao (BTW Bailador is easier if you have the auto-rhythm option enabled ^^)

Dubious Disc said:
Lots of artists I like have YouTube Music Weekend stuff for next(?) week but I likely won't be able to catch the premieres, they're (as usual) not friendly to my time zone.

I hope you can watch the videos later! Catching a premiere is very nice but time zones are very difficult to keep track of :/

Dubious Disc said:
Now I just have a bunch of ideas and never really get around to executing them. It's not art block or lack of motivation or anything, I just don't do it for some reason lol.

I'm stuck in a similar place... I have ideas but I can't bring myself to work on anything. It would be fun to have an art event going on in the Art Gallery to distract us haha.
If you don't want to draw, you shouldn't force yourself; even if it's not art block maybe you just need a rest from all the art you did in July.

Dubious Disc · Aug 16, 2024

escolopendror said:
Yee aww That was my favourite part of the game lol
I love Undertale Yellow but it has massive pacing and balancing issues. My personal 'slog' part was Steamworks; the area itself is great but I hate Ceroba for some reason, it felt very repetitive and the Axis battle sucked ass. Replaying the game takes a different kind of determination I don't have because some battles drained the life out of me lmao (BTW Bailador is easier if you have the auto-rhythm option enabled ^^)

Yeah my main gripe with the Wild East was just that it went on for so long, like it got kinda tiring being stuck in the town after a while. Honestly I sucked at all the boss battles lol I'm full of skill issues but every now and then I kinda want the challenge again.
I did my first playthrough without the 1.1 patch so I didn't have the options to make things easier ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I'll definitely use them next time though

escolopendror said:
I hope you can watch the videos later! Catching a premiere is very nice but time zones are very difficult to keep track of :/

Time zones are seriously so annoying, most of the artists I listen to are in Japan which is like 13 hours ahead of my time zone so their premieres are always either at night or very early morning for me

out of all the Music Weekend premieres I'm interested in, the latest one is at 7:30 AM lol

escolopendror said:
I'm stuck in a similar place... I have ideas but I can't bring myself to work on anything. It would be fun to have an art event going on in the Art Gallery to distract us haha.
If you don't want to draw, you shouldn't force yourself; even if it's not art block maybe you just need a rest from all the art you did in July.

I guess there's just that part of me that keeps telling myself I should draw as much as I can before classes start and I lose all my free time. I hear you though, taking it easy for a while probably isn't a bad idea. c:

Dubious Disc · Aug 23, 2024

Classes start next week...
At this point, I don't really know. It's nice not having to stress about homework and stuff, but there's still other things to stress about, so it's not like I'm totally carefree. And I don't like feeling like I'm wasting my time. This tends to happen in the last few weeks of summer break, where I get into a "well, at least school will give me something to do" state of mind. I don't expect I'll have any fun this year, but it's not like I've had much fun this summer apart from listening to music and watching YouTube and stuff, so I doubt it'll make a difference. I might actually have more opportunities to go outside once the semester starts, come to think of it. While the weather's nice, obviously.

Another long "screaming into the void about music (the music might also have screaming)" section, we got a ton of new songs and covers this past week! I'm gonna have to pretend to organize this list lol.

New songs:

DEAR by Giga- Very catchy Giga music as always. idk it just sounds like Giga, that's the best way I can describe it. Fits their style very well. The MV's style is really cool with how it gradually gets more and more animated, even though the lyrics also get progressively more difficult to read :P But it sounds pretty good. Neat to see that it's just Miku, instead of also having Rin and Len.
おべか by Surii - idk how to translate the title. In romaji it's just "obeka" but idk if there's some meaning that I'm missing. Anyway! Surii unexpectedly brings us a bouncy bopping song with Kasane Teto! Usually he only uses Kagamine Len, and occasionally Miku or Rin, so it's neat to see him suddenly using Teto. Her voice works surprisingly well alongside Len's, I was a bit worried that they'd kinda mismatch because they sound so different but somehow they made it work. I'm also glad that it's both Teto and Len rather than just Teto, it strengthens the Surii vibe if that makes sense. (I like this apparent trend of my favorite producers unexpectedly using Teto's SynthV - first Chinozo, then Hiiragi Kirai, and now Surii. She's one of my favorite vocal synths so it's cool to hear her with producers I like.)
Jittering Flower by Folicca - This is another producer I haven't talked about, they make chill electronic-y music with KAFU. And this new song is, as expected, a chill electronic-y song with KAFU. idk what else do you want me to say lol. I like the slighly futuristic feel that Folicca's songs have, it's almost kinda spacey. Makes good background music.

New covers: (most of which are Chogakusei, but that's how it is. he uploads a lot, okay??)

Chogakusei/Shikinagi Akira/Ryushen - Beyond the way (Giga) - This is the song I was talking about last time. I actually didn't dislike it! The voices were different enough that I didn't have trouble keeping track of them. I think maybe I just don't like the vocals in the original, that's why I thought I didn't like the song. This cover was good though, plus I liked the custom MV and animation. I still prefer the ARAKI/nqrse/Meychan version though. (Because it has two singers I like instead of just one.)
Nanami Urara/Chogakusei - MATORYOSHKA (HACHI) - This was the universe's answer to me constantly listening to the Meychan/Gero cover, probably. I was on Urara's channel looking for some unrelated song and I was so surprised to recognize Chogakusei in the thumbnail of this video lol. It's nice to hear them collab again, and on a song I really like too.
Chogakusei - Unhappy Refrain (wowaka) - I caught the premiere for this one!! woooo! It got delayed by a few hours, so I was actually awake to watch it lol. Good song too, I've never listened to it before.
Gero - DONUT HOLE (HACHI) - I've actually only started listening to HACHI really really recently lol. As in, like this month. I know HACHI is iconic and it's neat that he eventually went on to make KICK BACK and other very cool songs but somehow I never got around to listening to his old Vocaloid stuff. ANYWAY (the last two sentences were totally irrelevant), initially I didn't like Donut Hole much but Gero's cover ended up making me like it. Gero is cool, this cover is cool, the illustrations are cool, etc.
ARAKI - ●utlaws (masarada) - I love this song so much actually, it's such a banger and it's full of chaos. This morning I was just randomly thinking "I should listen to some ARAKI" so I went to his playlist and I was so hyped to see this song there, from just a few hours ago. It's not my favorite ●utlaws cover (see below), but I mean it's still really good. It's ARAKI, it has to be good.
SymaG - ●utlaws (masarada) - Yes it's the same song. I found this cover right after ARAKI's and was even MORE hyped! This one is my favorite ●utlaws cover. It sounds so crazy good with SymaG's rough scream-like voice. (I think I just like listening to people screaming in songs lol. it explains a lot about why I like the singers I like.)

**flashing lights warning for the last two. I know ●utlaws isn't the generally accepted English title for that song (I've mostly seen it called Musekinin Shuugoutai which is just the Japanese name) but I've seen it on masarada's channel and in the subtitles so it's what I'm using. It's less annoying to read.

It's been 3 months since Bad Bird, I wonder if we're gonna get a new Hiiragi Kirai song within the next month or so...

idk I don't really have anything else to say. I just came here to yell a bit about music and complain about how life is boring. (rolls away)

Dubious Disc · Aug 28, 2024

I'm tired of school. "it's been two days and you only have like two classes a day" yeah well I'm still tired of it.
Can I still call college "school"? idk it feels a bit weird. I don't know how my workload is gonna look from now on, I might be too busy to post later in the week, so I'm just dropping in real quick to give my thoughts on YouTube Music Weekend, at least the artists that I watched. A lot of them were clips of performances from live shows, but there were a few new music videos too. As expected, I did not catch a single premiere :')
(organized in chronological order. full playlist is here if you want [definitely not just keeping this link here for myself])

meiyo - A few songs and a medley from his live show last year. I actually haven't listened to much meiyo, apart from Nothing's Working Out (which lives in my head rent-free) and a few collab songs, but I decided to watch this anyway just to get a better general idea of the vibe. It does seem pretty good, so I'll be sure to check out more of his music sometime.

KANKAN - A new MV for "Writing on Forsythia Petals". It's alright, but it's more on the emotional/sentimental side, while I prefer KANKAN's more energetic songs. This is 100% just my "I like angry singers" bias though lol. The instrumental was nice. Maybe with a different vocal I'd like the song more.

Sou - Two videos from Sou! An MV for "Sense of Wonder", and then a follow-up where he talks about stuff with higma, the producer who arranged the song.

Okay, I know this has nothing to do with anything, but I need to get this off my chest. I've never heard any of higma's music, I only recognize his name because he was on an Among Us stream with a bunch of Vocaloid producers that I watched a while back. Every time I see higma mentioned I just think of Among Us. It bothers me so much lmao (it's actually hilarious but also kind of embarrassing)

Anyway, the song itself was alright. Sou's original music always takes a while to grow on me. Also there was this autotune-sounding effect on his voice that was really annoying? Like it's okay and sounds cool in moderation, but it just felt excessive here and it kinda distracted me. So not one of my favorites, I guess? I hate to be negative about both of these new songs :'( The video itself was really pretty though, loved the colors and art style.
I haven't listened to much of the second video, only like a minute or so. idk I guess I didn't really care enough about it :P Sou's speaking voice is cute though.

Surii - YEEEEEAH IT'S SURII!! This one was a special live studio performance made specifically for YouTube Music Weekend. And it rocked!! So many of my favorite songs

The visuals were really neat too, especially during Telecaster B-Boy where the video was projected on all the walls and looked like it was filling the room. And of course all the crazy bright lights in Guilty c: (shame the video cuts off weirdly at the end, he had to upload the rest of it in a separate short.) This one was a lot of fun! I really enjoyed it :)

syudou - YEEEEEAH IT'S SYUDOU!! A collection of songs from his 2023 and 2024 live tours, all of which went hard and were super cool. This one had a bunch of songs I loved too! And it had Gambling! My favorite syudou song!! And of course it ended with Bakushou, a classic. I was super hyped watching all of these, seeing an actual syudou live show must be crazy cool. The energy was at 100% the whole time, awesome vibes.

Kairiki Bear - Some songs from his first live show this year. Okay, so the intro scene for this one was disturbing?? :0 I was genuinely scared by it lol. Classic Kairiki Bear, I guess... But then MARETU's Disappearance Addiction remix kicked in and I forgot about it in all the hype. This one was a mix of Kairiki Bear performing live (and generally being weird) and a screen projection of his mascot character playing and singing. Both were interesting in their own way. I was pleasantly surprised that they included Àngel at the end of the video, I tend to forget that song exists since it isn't on YouTube lol. This one was pretty good overall, although the frightening scenes (the intro and an animation after the first song) kinda took away from my enjoyment and ultimately left a bitter taste. B tier, I guess.

Meychan - AAAAAAAAAGHH THE VIDEO IS GONE!!!! It was set to private before I could watch it!! And I was so looking forward to this one in particular... it's meyover

maaaan, this really sucks lol. I'm sure the staff member(s) looking after the channel had a reason for privating(?) it, but I still I wish I could have seen it, especially since it was from his last live tour. (If March of the Sun was in there, I probably would have cried.) I did come across his video from last year's Music Weekend, so I watched that instead and enjoyed it, although it also made me even more upset about not being able to watch the one from this year .__.
Speaking of Meychan, the anime OP he did a few months back finally got an MV today. It's a fun song, a bit cheesy but I couldn't not like it.

Well... that's everything I watched from this year's YouTube Music Weekend. Surii's and syudou's videos were easily my favorites.

It's been boiling outside lately ;__;
New Sonic movie trailer was cool. Shadow doing the Akira Slide was funny.

Dubious Disc · Sep 20, 2024

wow, it's so dusty here...
I didn't forget about this, but I've been so stressed and busy lately that I've barely had time to think about something to write, let alone actually write something. I guess now that I have so much to work on, I don't have as much free time to dwell on whatever comes into my mind. Plus it takes me a few hours to write a post, and I don't usually have that kind of time anymore. Honestly though, this is the biggest workload I've ever had at the start of a semester. It's true that I should expect more work than I'm used to, what with taking more advanced classes, but having like three projects at once within the first two weeks is definitely pretty unpleasant. Most of my professors say that this is what it's like in the real world when you're doing actual design work, but still. At least a little room to breathe would be nice.

Lately I've been having a lot of problems with anxiety and how it's been affecting my health and interfering with my daily life, and I've found myself resenting the fact that the human body is so fragile and prone to illness and stuff going wrong. I had to get some repairs done on my car the other day and I was kinda amused at how easy it was to repair the machine in comparison to how difficult it is to repair myself. Sometimes I wish healing was as easy as fixing and replacing broken parts, it sucks when you're not well and there's nothing you can do about it except wait and worry and maybe take medicine that might help. I'm tired of feeling bad all the time, let me be a robot already fr...

Anyway, I don't want to just spend the whole time complaining. I had a birthday a few weeks back, but it was mostly kinda okay. I feel like I don't really care about my birthdays as much as I used to? Like, I acknowledge it, but I don't go out of my way to make it special. I don't even care much about presents anymore, like I'm fine with just a pair of earrings and maybe a cool T-shirt. idk really the most important part is that I get to eat cake, that's about all.

Uhhh also we got a new Sushi Ramen Riku video! (I guess this post is gradually going from negative to positive lol.) This one was, as usual, a lot of fun. I like how a lot of Riku's videos have a seemingly very simple premise and then he goes about it in the most ridiculously complicated, scientifically intensive, dangerous way possible lmao. Like, is there any other YouTuber who would use thermite to heat a bath?
Also, I have to shout out the digging montage, the way it syncs up to the music is incredibly crisp and satisfying. Riku's editing is always S-tier.

Music news time!! Three weeks to catch up on lol.

New songs:

Dedede-Dededede-Destiny by Wada Takeaki - Wada Takeaki returns after a year in the shadow realm not uploading any music!! It's honestly not my favorite, I like his energetic rock-sounding songs more, but I won't be picky. I'm glad to get any new Wada Takeaki music, regardless of how it sounds. It's kinda funky in its own way, I can see it growing on me eventually. New vocal too, it's a demo song for a new SynthV. (also, I learned recently that KAFU is supposed to get a SynthV at some point, it's been delayed indefinitely but it's still pretty cool. I wonder how different she'll sound?)
Let me battle - KANKAN solo ver. - WOOOOOOOOO YAAAY! Banger anipoke music now with double the KANKAN! Their voice fits Pokémon music so well, this was seriously so cool to see.
I Kill You by syudou - BANGER SYUDOU SONG AS ALWAYS!! The title and lyrics contain a wordplay on 愛生きる理由 ("love is the reason for living"), which is pronounced ai ikiru ryuu and sounds like "I kill you" when it's blended together. The song is super catchy, I like how it switches between higher and lower energy, and the little sound effects in the chorus are cool too. I might still like Love Trip Summer better, but we'll see.
Show by Ado - TeddyLoid remix - Ado recently released an LP with a lot of different versions of Show, including one with a new MV and some new remixes. I honestly really like this remix, it's got a dance-y electronic feel that's pretty different from the original but still goes hard. I remember not really liking the other Show remix, so I'm glad this one turned out really good.
Shutter Chance by Meychan - English ver. - English Meychan! This was a big surprise! I've only heard Meychan sing in English once before, and that was only a few lines, so it was neat and unexpected to see him do a full English cover of this newest song. It took me a few listens to actually get all the lyrics, what with the accent, but overall it's pretty well done. Very cute and cool as always. Keeping the actual "shutter chance" line in Japanese was a nice touch too.

New covers:

Sou/Ivudot - Override (Yoshida Yasei) - I actually just stumbled upon this like 2 minutes ago while looking for another song. It's pretty good, although it does suffer from the "I only like one of the vocals" problem, I want to hear a solo Sou version lol. I honestly forgot the Sou/Ivudot collab channel even existed, I gotta look and see if they've covered any other stuff I like.
ARAKI - Magical Girl and Chocolate (PinocchioP) - Kinda surprised to see another ARAKI upload so soon after the previous one. I don't really have anything in particular to say about this one, it sounds exactly how you'd expect an ARAKI cover of Magical Girl and Chocolate to sound. That's not really a bad thing, it's just the impression I get :P I think I do prefer his previous PinocchioP covers, though.
Chogakusei - YAMADA PERFECT (jon-YAKITORY) - I knew we'd get this one eventually lol. Guess what, I like this song now! It still feels like an off-brand Konton Boogie, but I think this cover specifically opened my eyes to the fact that it's actually a pretty good song. Character development, everyone!
Chogakusei - Thanks for being Lifeless (PinocchioP) - Of course it's an emotional PinocchioP song ;__; This was from today, which is also his birthday, so naturally he had to pick a song that hits hard in the feels lol. Thanks for being alive

Still waiting on Hiiragi Kirai to do something :P We might get something new from Gero soon, perhaps? It's been about a month...

That's all for today, I'm gonna go feel slightly unwell as usual now

Dubious Disc · Sep 27, 2024

Hello

I'm feeling better this week. Still not totally normal, but the worst of it is behind me, and anyway I never feel totally normal. I managed to pull off some time management magic to lessen my workload somewhat, so at least I'm not stressed about that right now.

October is somehow almost here already?? I was looking forward to doing Inktober, but I don't know if I'll be able to do it this year

I just don't think I'll have enough time. I've been so busy lately and I don't want to add any more to my plate than I need to. It sucks, but I think it's for the best .__. Maybe I'll do it in November or December or something instead, idk.

Feels great to have a Chinozo-themed profile again!! Honestly, PetaPeta might be my new favorite Chinozo song - I love TAMAYA and all, but PetaPeta is relatable on so many levels. There's so many lines that I can point to that resonate with my experiences as an exhausted student. It's pretty clearly a song about gifted kid burnout, getting tired of following rules ("all the experts explode") and just wanting to be free even if you aren't as perfect as people are expecting you to be ("I want to bloom, even if I'm not blooming right").

Incidentally, peta peta in Japanese is onomatopoeia for painting, like the sound of dabbing paint on something (and there's some paint motifs in the MV as well). So as an art student it's even more fitting lol. There's a kind of "paint the world in my colors" theme in some of the lyrics, which I can't really articulate a general interpretation for, but I get the vibe that in this context it's about letting out your true self and not caring what others think. Like painting the world in your colors as opposed to letting yourself be painted with others' colors.
It's funny how I actually didn't like PetaPeta at first, I listened to it once and didn't like it for some reason so I left it alone for months while I listened to Chinozo's other songs. And then I heard it in a medley or something and realized "wait, this is actually really catchy?? Maybe I should listen to it again?" and I did and I couldn't understand why I ever disliked it in the first place.
I also like the character's design and how his appearance gradually gets messier over the course of the video lol.

For what it's worth, I think PetaPeta and TAMAYA both contain a message about being your authentic imperfect self, but they look at it through different lenses - PetaPeta is about wanting to free yourself from others' expectations, while TAMAYA is more about self-esteem issues and not living up to your own expectations for yourself. (I know the novels have given us a quasi-official interpretation of the song's meaning, but I don't care, I'll look at it the way I want lol.) To me, the second character in the MV (the one with the kitsune mask and black hairclip) is a representation of the main character's ideal version of himself, and the main character constantly sees himself as inferior to the person he could be ("I couldn't become you", "it's so tedious, thinking of you", the fact that he always looks troubled while the other person always looks happy). The part in the final chorus where the kitsune mask comes off and it shows his own face seems to be an acceptance of his true self, like he's no longer defining himself by an unattainable ideal. He can't be the person he wants to be, but he's realized that the person he is right now might be okay after all.

I also saw someone mention in a comment that the "inferiority festival" comes from the idea that nobody is perfect - it's okay to be whoever you are even though you're flawed, you don't have to try to be perfect, because we're all flawed. We can celebrate together in our imperfection. Thus, the "lay yourself bare", "break out of your shell", "don't say 'that's ridiculous'", "let your instincts ring out" lines.

Anyway, that's just what I think!!

I remember seeing a comment on the Marshall Maximizer MV with a really long, well-thought-out, thoroughly researched analysis of the song's meaning, dissecting a lot of specific lyrics, explaining the scientific phenomenon that the song is based on, coming back later to edit with new insights. They sounded very knowledgeable and confident and then at the very end they just went "Probably." The vibe of delivering an entire essay on something and then losing confidence at the end like "well...maybe", that's how I tend to feel whenever I explain anything lol.

I don't think I, personally, have reached the level of freedom or self-acceptance that these songs ultimately reach in the final chorus - I'm still very much held back by expectations and insecurity, and I don't quite know how to break away from them yet. But it's a process, and I have something to aim for. Someday I'll learn to overcome myself just like they did, I know it.

Someday I'll find my colors and I'll get painting.

In terms of music news, not much this week :P syudou has a Halloween-themed Vocaloid song out, but I'll wait until the MV comes out to give my thoughts. It's been a while since he's done any Vocaloid stuff, but since I like his original music better it hasn't really bothered me.

Actually, there is something, if you'll forgive a few more minutes of me talking about Chinozo lol. idk why I've never bothered to mention Chinozo's (or any producer's, really) non-Vocaloid collab songs, but those exist, and we got a new one a few days ago! It was written for some guy named Saegusa Akina, whom I have never heard of before. I just found it funny that within the first three seconds I was like "yep, that's definitely Chinozo", like the instruments and rhythm were so obviously Chinozo's style. Even the voice sounds kinda similar to Chinozo's lol. I'd say it's a pretty good song, there's definitely some of the same laid-back energy from Shamer and Damatte-chan in there.

I have no idea how to end this Chinozo ramble post with dignity. I actually spent most of today only listening to Gero lol

Dubious Disc · Oct 4, 2024

Guess what??

New Chinozo songs will always be embedded.

Yeeeeeeahhhhhhh it's the Vocaloid version of that Saegusa Akina song from last time! I've been thinking that it would be cool to hear a flower vocal version but I never thought we'd actually get one, I practically ran screaming to the premiere when I saw it lol. With flower it really does sound like a brighter fusion of Shamer and Damatte-chan. And Chinozo's own voice is in there too!
The character design is cool too, he's one of Chinozo's recurring characters. I get the vibe that this is kind of an updated version of his original outfit, like it fits the more complex designs from recent songs as opposed to just the hoodie. Also I like how his ahoge pokes out through the hat lol.
The visual style of the MV feels more like some of the older songs, lately Chinozo's music videos have had more animation and generally more stuff going on but this one is a bit more static. It uses a lot of the effects from Goodbye Sengen and Arisama in particular. Kinda neat how the character design is more modern while the video style is older.

Okay I promise I'm not just gonna talk about music the whole time this time lol. Gonna talk about art instead! Woo!
I drew a header image thing to put on the first post, just like I did for my art thread. You can check it out if you want. Aside from random doodles it also contains a few logos and mascots from the musicians I like, just to really emphasize the fact that I yell a lot about music on here lol. (the funky triangle is Hiiragi Kirai's logo, the thing with the headphones is Chogakusei's, the plushie in the middle is Chinozo, and the weird cat thing on the left represents Meychan. I couldn't think of a way to incorporate a Gero reference ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Anyway! I've been looking through some of my old art lately. Mostly while backing stuff up, but I've also been redrawing some art from 2019 for a Halloween thing, and seeing all my old art again has really put into perspective how much I've actually improved lol. I found a folder of digital art from around 2016 and it's so messy and cringe that it's honestly quite endearing. Like, I can so clearly see my middle-school self plugging away in MS Paint and GIMP, just trying her best ^__^ And even later on, 2018 and thereabouts when I started getting better, I still remember making drawings that I was really proud of, and now looking back at them and thinking "I seriously thought this was good? lmao" Not in a negative way, like I said it just puts into perspective how much I've grown. And it's encouraging to know that I'll probably grow even more in the future, and someday I'll look back at the artwork I'm proud of now and think it's bad. That's a good thing!

I remember first finding that old art folder and thinking "My 12-year-old self would think I was so cool if she saw my art now." Like in a way, I think my art has become what I wanted it to be when I was younger. I spent so long trying to figure out how to draw people - a lot of my drawings from that time clearly show that I was trying to draw the "anime artstyle", and now, years later, it's become almost second nature to me. (There are actually a few that I want to redraw, so be on the lookout for that

I'll probably post them here instead of in my art thread.)

I really wanted to talk more about this BUT I don't want this post getting too long so I'll probably pick it back up next week or whenever.

Music news. There's one really really big (to me) piece of news in particular and I'm probably gonna end up yelling incoherently about it lol.

New songs:

Amazing Happy Halloween Night by syudou - As someone who isn't the biggest fan of syudou's Vocaloid music, I was actually kinda surprised by how good this was! syudou's style fits Halloween music perfectly, actually. It's a banger as usual, but I particularly like the kinda digital-horror MV (it's pretty obvious where the inspiration comes from lol). There's a lot of cool details throughout.
DONUT HOLE 2024 by HACHI - DONUT HOLE remake after 10 years!! Never thought we'd be getting Donut Hole lore in 2024, but here we are. (Anyway, as someone who only started listening to HACHI super recently, I'm just glad to see that his music is still relevant, like I don't feel like I'm late to the party lol.) It's really good! As expected! For what it's worth, the song itself isn't that different apart from the sound quality, I'm mostly invested in the new MV - the animation is super cool and I love how it gives GUMI and friends so much personality.

New covers:

Surii - Obeka (self cover) - Finally!! Surii does self covers of almost all his Vocaloid music, so I was sitting around waiting for this one lol. As always, I like the slightly different vibe that Surii's self covers have, they usually feel a bit more laid-back than Len's energetic vocals.
Sou/Ivudot - Parry (Miyamori Bungaku) - They've been doing a lot lately lol. This time it doesn't have the "only one vocal I like" problem that I mentioned about Override, probably because the original song is a duet so I expect it to have two different voices. idk. This one also sounds a bit calmer, which I like. Sometimes the Kagamines' voices are a bit harsh on my ears, so it's good to have a more softer-sounding version to listen to. (Also, this is more about the original, but I love the MV for this song so much, like the colors and designs and expressions are just so fun to look at.)

There's actually one more cover that I didn't mention because it doesn't premiere until tomorrow, but I didn't have the patience to wait until then, I have to yell about it now or I'll explode. for real.
CHOGAKUSEI IS COLLABING WITH GERO!! CHOGAKUSEI IS COLLABING WITH GEROOOO!!!!!!

YEEEEEEEEAH WOOOOO!!! LET'S GOOOOOOOO
I was already hyped because from the preview image yesterday I could see that it was gonna be a collab cover of Fatal by GEMN, which I've been obsessed with lately and have been constantly hoping Chogakusei would cover it, but I figured it would be with someone I didn't really care about. So when the premiere (or pre-premiere, I guess?) went up this morning and I saw that it was with Gero of all people I just sat there for like a minute in disbelief. (and screaming really loud inside my head "IT'S GERO????!!! OMG IT'S GERO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH" etc.)
I swear, the stars must have aligned or something for this to happen, it's just like what happened with the Nanami Urara MATORYOSHKA collab. This song that's been consuming my brain is being covered by BOTH of my favorite singers?? I'm so hyped, it's unbelievable. Like, I already knew Fatal would sound awesome with Chogakusei's voice, but adding Gero too? I know they'll both absolutely kill it, this is gonna be the coolest thing ever.

Man, between the unexpected Chinozo song and the upcoming Chogakusei/Gero collab, today has been fantastic for me in terms of music lol. I'd say today was a pretty good day overall actually, for once I don't have a lot of project stuff to work on so I'm mostly free of stress at the moment. After all the bad days I've had these past few weeks, I think this is what I deserve.

Dubious Disc · Oct 13, 2024

I think the fact that I didn't come back to this blog 7 hours after the previous post to shout from the rooftops about the Fatal cover shows that I'm more self-disciplined than I thought.
Back to being busy and tired. I guess it was nice to have a few days of feeling good, at least.

I don't really feel like coming back to the art stuff I was talking about last week, I just can't think of anything meaningful to add at the moment d:
I've been trying to write more about my OC's and figure them out more, try and really get inside their heads. I'm still not so good at writing actual storylines, so at the moment it's mostly descriptions and studies from an external point of view. Just things to help myself figure out more about how they are and why they do what they do.

For instance, I've managed to pinpoint the driving factor of March's personality, which is essentially that she wants to be the main character.

The core aspect of March's character, and what informs pretty much all her actions and attitudes toward the world around her, is that she craves adventure and drama. She wants to be a character in the shows she's watched, the manga she's read, the video games she's played. March doesn't like being an onlooker or living an ordinary life - she always wants something to be happening, and she wants to be in the middle of it.

From here, it naturally follows that she always tries to make herself the center of attention. It also explains why she doesn't have many friends, since people tend to be put off by her dramatics, and why she's very attached to the few people who still hang out with her. At the same time, a lot of these traits go hand in hand with her insecurity, worrying that she'll just become a nobody if she doesn't put herself in the middle of everything. She does, deep down, fear that people dislike her. She gets jealous very easily, which is also rooted in fear that the few friends she has will abandon her.

Out of all four members of the friend group, March is most likely the one who would want to live the typical "Pokémon protagonist" life. You know, the usual "small-town kid goes on a journey and becomes super strong and special and saves the world and becomes Champion" story. (Ironically, this exact thing happened to Terry after he moved to Hoenn, and he hated every minute of it.) She decided Van was her rival because of course, the main character needs a rival, and she didn't care at all that the rivalry was completely one-sided (Van's biggest and only rival is himself).

Another big thing that I noticed is that March tends to look at the people around her as characters in her own story: Chase is the sidekick, Van is the rival, Terry is the love interest, and Elliot is the nemesis. (She was jealous of him for being closer to Terry than she was, so now she has a constant low level of resentment toward him.)

I dunno, I feel like I've ended up making March less likable than I initially intended lol. She's self-centered for sure, and there are parts of her personality that I intended to be unsympathetic, but I don't want people to hate her, either. So I don't really know if I made the right decision developing her character this way. To be fair, most of what I've explained is internal, like the people around her don't actually know that she thinks this way. They just see that she's quite loud and tends to exaggerate things a lot. They don't know why.

idk I don't actually know how to write characters

Music news. NOW I can shout from the rooftops about the Fatal cover.

New songs:

Workout by syudou - Woah, even more syudou?? I'm not complaining though lol. It's really nice to hear a genuinely positive syudou song this time! Happy syudou music is very good for the soul I think it's a sequel to another song he did around a year ago, we'll know for sure once the MV comes out.
- Somehow it seems like syudou's music in general has gotten less dark lately? Like I've always associated him with eerie edgy stuff, but looking at his more recent songs it feels like they're more energetic and pumped up. It might just be because he's been doing less Vocaloid music, and that was always where the edgy themes came from, but even his original music seems to be not as dark as it used to be. Maybe that's just me, idk. I do like this newer vibe though! I know edgy songs get all the attention, but I always appreciate brighter music as well.
終わらないラブソングを (With this never ending love song) by Meychan (Previously album-exclusive song that got a music video.) - Okay I know I just said that I like happy music, but songs like this always make me want to cry >__< idk whether it's just the lyrics or the message, or also the context of this song coming out during Meychan's hiatus, but I get such a painfully bittersweet feeling from it that I can barely listen to it. Quite a few Meychan songs are like this, especially the more recent ones, so this is one case where I actually like the edgy music better lol. Like, at least Mobius doesn't hurt me.
ECHO (ReAdmission remix) by Crusher - A special remix released for ECHO's 10th anniversary! First DONUT HOLE and now this... we're eating good with these 10th anniversary remakes lol. Although this one is probably more important to me personally, I've been listening to ECHO for like 6 years so it's much more a part of me. This remix is pretty good, I like how it's got more instrumental stuff than the original, gives it a bit of a different feel. The new vocals are nice too.
BRAIN by Kanaria - Very cool to see Kanaria doing more songs with his own voice! I could talk about the song itself but I just need to mention how much I love the MV, the art style and animation are so cute and it's so much fun to watch. Like yeah, the song is good, but the video is what really stands out to me lol.

New covers:

Sou - Igaku (Medicine) (Sasuke Haraguchi) - yay it's Igaku :) Been quite a while since Sou has covered a song I actively like (apart from collabs and whatnot). Even though he already covered my favorite Sasuke Haraguchi song last year, I think I like this one better, his voice fits the song more.
SymaG - Junky Down (Fushi) - I never ever would have expected this!! I've never seen any Fushi covers at all, so seeing SymaG do this song was the biggest surprise! It's kinda crazy how good it sounds considering how his voice is so much rougher than Hibiki Koto's soft floaty vocals in the original. This is why I like covers so much, they can take a song and make it feel so different and yet the same at the same time.
Chogakusei & Gero - Fatal (GEMN) - !!!!! IT'S PEAK!!!! IT'S SO GOOD AAAAAAAAHH!! IT'S SO PEAK it's so peak. This collab was every bit as awesome as I expected and I loved it!! The part in the beginning where Gero's voice kicked in with the title reveal went directly to my soul. Honestly I have to say, I went in expecting Chogakusei's part to sound better, but I actually ended up liking Gero's part more. I mean, both of them did amazing, natch, but I guess Gero's sound stood out more to me. All the little details in the MV are cool too, I keep finding new things on each rewatch (and I've rewatched it a lot already.) It feels strange to see Gero look so serious in the artwork when in reality he's a goofball lol. 11/10 cover, probably my all-time favorite Chogakusei collab. Cannot overstate how much I loved this.

Wild how Mesmerizer is already at 91M views after barely six months. It's definitely gonna break Goodbye Sengen's record of fastest Vocaloid song to reach 100M (which, to be fair, will already be broken by Kyoufuu All Back in the meantime). It's funny how we started 2024 with only one song at 100M, and now we'll end it with five more, one of which was actually released in 2024. This is a good year for Vocaloid music, I suppose.

If you read everything, I am very grateful... lately I've been worried that my posts here are too long and people don't really care enough to read them all the way, especially since I usually talk about subjects that I don't think interest many people here. I'm not gonna stop, of course, but I just don't want to bore anyone. I don't want people to think I'm annoying or that I say too much. So, I just appreciate anyone who takes the time to read all the stuff I rant about here. Thank you for being willing to endure these long-winded glimpses into my head.

Even if it doesn't matter to you, it matters to me.

escolopendror · Oct 13, 2024

Dubious Disc said:
I've been trying to write more about my OC's and figure them out more, try and really get inside their heads. I'm still not so good at writing actual storylines, so at the moment it's mostly descriptions and studies from an external point of view. Just things to help myself figure out more about how they are and why they do what they do.

If it comforts you, I don't know how to write storylines either, haha. It's not like you're gonna write a book about your OCs, so as long as the stuff you do have written about them is cohesive, it's alright ^v^ From what I've read about your OCs, I really like how they feel like actual Pokémon characters I'd see in a manga or a spin-off game!

Dubious Disc said:
I dunno, I feel like I've ended up making March less likable than I initially intended lol. She's self-centered for sure, and there are parts of her personality that I intended to be unsympathetic, but I don't want people to hate her, either. So I don't really know if I made the right decision developing her character this way. To be fair, most of what I've explained is internal, like the people around her don't actually know that she thinks this way.

Ultimately what shapes a character is their actions, not their thoughts. March can be self-centered and seeking that protagonist life selfishly but she can be sympathetic by caring for her friends and Pokémon (after all, the MC of a Pokémon game is friendly, not an asshole X)) It all comes down to what you said in the end, external characters can't read her mind and can only see what she does, not what she thinks. I believe you're doing well with March's character!

Dubious Disc said:
If you read everything, I am very grateful... lately I've been worried that my posts here are too long and people don't really care enough to read them all the way, especially since I usually talk about subjects that I don't think interest many people here.

I'm guilty of reading your blog posts and not understanding any of the Vocaloid talk, but it makes me happy to see that people can just talk about what they love without shame! I end up learning about Vocaloid thanks to you X)

Dubious Disc · Oct 14, 2024

escolopendror said:
If it comforts you, I don't know how to write storylines either, haha. It's not like you're gonna write a book about your OCs, so as long as the stuff you do have written about them is cohesive, it's alright ^v^ From what I've read about your OCs, I really like how they feel like actual Pokémon characters I'd see in a manga or a spin-off game!

haha thanks c:
And for what it's worth, I like your OC's too even if they don't have written-out storylines, even just descriptions and artwork and stuff goes a long way in showing their personalities! I really should draw mine more often lol

escolopendror said:
Ultimately what shapes a character is their actions, not their thoughts. March can be self-centered and seeking that protagonist life selfishly but she can be sympathetic by caring for her friends and Pokémon (after all, the MC of a Pokémon game is friendly, not an asshole X)) It all comes down to what you said in the end, external characters can't read her mind and can only see what she does, not what she thinks. I believe you're doing well with March's character!

I appreciate the insight! I've never looked at it from this angle, but I definitely see what you mean - there is a lot of "power of friendship" stuff to the whole main-character thing that I admit I overlooked, and it does fit in with March genuinely caring about the people around her. I try to make sure that she still comes off as a good person despite being a bit complicated sometimes.

escolopendror said:
I'm guilty of reading your blog posts and not understanding any of the Vocaloid talk, but it makes me happy to see that people can just talk about what they love without shame! I end up learning about Vocaloid thanks to you X)

This blog may or may not secretly be a crusade to subconsciously make every reader a Vocaloid fan lol
I've actually thought of adding a section to the first post that describes some of the Vocaloid-related terminology and artists and whatnot that I throw around, just so people can follow what I'm saying

irrelevant update stuff but I'm on my spooky season theme now! with the Ghost-type Project Voltage song because of course. syudou is the coolest
today was exhausting, I almost wish there was a way to hide certain threads from showing up on the latest activity page. all the replies made it so hard to look for posts in RM and whatnot that I actually wanted to keep up on .__. it's nobody's fault, of course, it was just a bit of a headache for me personally.

Dubious Disc · Oct 19, 2024

IT'S COLD.
October in particular sucks because the weather here is just all over the place. Some days it's freezing, other days it feels like summer. I have a screenshot from a forecast last year where the temperature range one Friday was 62 to 76

17 to 24 C

, and Tuesday four days later was 29 to 45

-2 to 7 C

. October weather really is just "flip a coin and see if you need a T-shirt or a winter coat today".
But lately it's been really cold in the mornings, which makes it even harder to get up and get going than it usually is. I can handle cold days, but there's something so depressing about cold mornings. At least the rooms and studios at my college are generally at a comfortable warm temperature, not like high school where the whole building was so cold I sometimes had to wear my coat during class .__.

Anyway, tl;dr I've spent months complaining here about it being too hot out, and I'm about to spend the next few months complaining about it being too cold.

Since I'm kinda on a roll with OC stuff, I figured I'd continue with these mini-analyses and talk about Van today. I think he was the last one to join the group, as well as the last one I designed. In terms of personality he's probably also the one I see myself most in.

I feel like out of everyone in the group, Van is likely the one that initially seems the most forgettable, both in-universe and from a viewer's perspective - due to his naturally detached personality, he isn't as close to people as the others are, and doesn't do much to put himself out there. He's mostly doing his own thing instead of getting involved in everyone's hijinks. If March wants to be the main character, Van is more of an NPC.

When I was designing Van, I was initially a bit worried that his design was too simple. To be fair, I did intend it to be simple, since it accords with his personality - he's not one to waste time on accessories or fashion in general. As long as it's neat and practical, Van doesn't put too much thought into what he wears. But he does look a bit plain next to the rest of the group. During Art Fight I was actually expecting him to not get any attacks at all because of this lol. It's true that he didn't get as much attention as the rest of my characters, but that might also just be because he happened to be last in the character list d: Shoutout to the one person who did attack him, I know you're reading this

Van grew up in a strict family, with a lot of rules. (I did as well, which is partly why I went this route, because I can draw from my own experiences as a kid if I need to.) And since kids in the Pokémon world seem to have so much more freedom, what with Pokémon journeys and all, I thought it'd be interesting to see how someone with a stricter upbringing would interact with this world. Presumably, some degree of confrontation had to happen in order for Van's family to let him go on a journey with his friends.

Because he was constantly bound by rules growing up, Van is very self-disciplined, but also not so good at thinking outside the box. In battle, his strategies are sound and effective but not really innovative - there's a calculated, "by-the-book" vibe to his battling style. March, in contrast, likes trying all sorts of things, being flashy and unpredictable, so she's less consistent but also more creative, and her battles tend to be more interesting to watch.

Van is also unquestionably an introvert. He prefers to keep to himself, doesn't like to bother others, and doesn't feel the need to be in the middle of what's happening. Although he comes off as cold and edgy sometimes, he's mostly just chill in his own way. If you annoy him, naturally he'll get rather irritable, but he doesn't go out of his way to be negative.

March and Van are opposites in a lot of ways. I didn't initially intend this, but once I noticed it I tried to lean into it more and develop it further. Some of the differences are obvious, like how March wants to be the center of attention while Van is fine staying away from the action. March is very expressive, Van is more restrained. March is dramatic and imaginative, Van is pragmatic. Some of them are more subtle though, like how March measures her worth by the people around her while Van's self-worth is determined mostly by his own internal factors. March needs to be validated by others, she needs to know what they think of her and whether they like her, while Van is more concerned with what he thinks of himself, if that makes sense. Like, "am I being as good a person as I could be?" This also kinda ties in to how March considers Van her rival, while Van's only rival is himself.

One thing that just popped into my head without much thinking is that March can't understand why Van likes listening to podcasts. With March, whenever she tries listening to a podcast or talk show, she always ends up trying to interject or respond to what they're saying - it drives her crazy to observe a conversation that she has no way of contributing to. Van, on the other hand, can listen to people talk amongst each other without ever needing to participate.

They do have some stuff in common too, though. They both want to be strong trainers, of course, but Van struggles more with this because, as I said, he's kinda stuck in his ways of following rules and existing strategies rather than coming up with something bigger. He's an Ace Trainer, but he's just one Ace Trainer among a bunch of other Ace Trainers. While March, even if she isn't any more or less skilled, is more memorable and has more of a reputation because of it.

I have no clue what Van's team is yet. Initially he was going to start with Totodile but then I remembered I don't like Totodile so I gave him Cyndaquil instead. I don't write Pokémon that I don't like if I can avoid it lol.

No big music news section, you got lucky this week :) Ado released a new song that she wrote herself for the first time. It's cool, but I don't really care for the sound of the instrumental? Maybe it hasn't grown on me yet. Also, is she okay?? those lyrics...

DECO*27 also has a new song out today and as someone who doesn't typically vibe with Deco, it's actually pretty catchy. It's rather dark but still good.

It's been 5 months since Bad Bird, I hope Hiiragi Kirai hasn't just disappeared or something lol.

Can't think of anything cool to end the post with. Off to drink some tea, then. (decaf green, nothing fancy)

escolopendror · Oct 19, 2024

Dubious Disc said:
Shoutout to the one person who did attack him, I know you're reading this

What can I say, I'm the number one Van apologist. I just think he's neat X) He's a really interesting 'rival' character! His dynamic with March feels really grounded on reality; I wasn't lying when I said I would see your OCs as characters in a spin-off or adyacent Pokémon game. ArtFight won't be the last time I draw fanart of them!!

Dubious Disc · Oct 28, 2024

I've had this entire post drafted in my head for like a week but I've been so busy lately that I haven't had much time to sit down and write. Got a big group presentation coming up for my art history class this week. I've been struggling to get enough research together, but one of my group members already has their part completely finished and way higher quality than the stuff I've done, while the other hasn't contributed anything at all

Group projects suck, actually.

遂に日本語キーボード入れた！ Finally got a Japanese keyboard installed! Now I don't have to go through all these gymnastics of copying and pasting stuff from online keyboards and dictionaries and whatnot

I'm still trying to get used to the input, it feels a bit less intuitive than the one on my phone, but I'm getting there. Hopefully this will encourage me to do more writing stuff in Japanese, since it won't be such a pain anymore lol. I started a journal a few months ago but gave up on it, so maybe now I can come back to it and write more.

I guess I'm doing more OC talk lol. Since I've already done half the group, might as well see it through all the way.

Elliot time! Elliot was the first one I designed, and in terms of general character I think he's probably changed the least from my initial concept. He comes from a family of Pokémon Breeders who have run a Day Care for generations. Although the family lives in Ecruteak City, the Day Care is located on a route between Ecruteak and Olivine, so they occasionally visit Olivine as well.

Elliot and Terry met when they were little, so they were friends for a long time. Initially they met because Norman had to visit the Day Care on some business and Terry tagged along, and Elliot happened to be there at the same time. Eventually they bonded and became friends. Because Terry was more dynamic and energetic, Elliot was always the one following him around and trying to keep up, but they still got along well despite their different personalities. Even after more people joined the friend group, they were always closest to each other, and Elliot was probably affected the most after Terry moved to Hoenn.

In terms of personality, Elliot is on the quieter side, but he's not an introvert - he does enjoy being around people and soaking up the energy. He was rather shy as a kid, and Terry would often do the talking for him when they were together, but after Terry moved away he was forced out of his shell a bit. Although he's still a bit awkward, Elliot can easily make himself heard.

Overall, he's a kind, gentle person who likes helping others. Having grown up in a family whose job it is to look after Pokémon, he's caring by nature and knows a lot about how to keep Pokémon happy and in good health. He's also good at solving conflicts and providing emotional support, and people often describe him as having a calming aura.

That being said! Although he might not show it, Elliot has a short temper and is quite easily irritated. He's bothered by how people tend to perceive him as an innocent cinnamon roll who can do nothing wrong, and how they're surprised whenever he expresses annoyance or generally does anything negative.

"You guys can all say whatever you're thinking, you can tell someone to shut up or go stub their toe or whatever and people think it's totally fine. Like, since you're Trainers, it's okay to be all hotheaded, it's cool. But if I happen to have a bad day and I get frustrated at someone, it's like 'Can you believe it? He said something mean, that's crazy! I didn't even know that was possible!' I'm just sick of everyone acting like I'm not allowed to say or feel anything that isn't all sunshine and rainbows and happiness." (He's talking to Van here.)

I think Elliot feels resentment so strongly specifically because people expect him to never feel resentment about anything. He feels like just because he's inclined to be nice to others, he's expected to be perfect and unconditionally kind and always like everyone, while all the people around him can freely express whatever negativity they feel. So in a way, he's almost relieved to be around March, because she dislikes him and thus he doesn't have to always act nice around her if he isn't feeling it.

Elliot has a partner Pokémon, but he doesn't battle and was never interested in challenging Gyms. He intended to accompany his friends on their journey just to support them and for the opportunity to travel and experience new things. Although he'd like to battle for fun, he isn't very good at coming up with strategies and whatnot, so he prefers to watch others battle instead.

I've mostly only thought about Elliot's friendship with Terry, but I think he'd have an interesting dynamic with Van too. Van sees through facades pretty easily and he doesn't make snap judgments about people or impose expectations on them, so I can see Elliot being more comfortable around him. And because Elliot is still rather quiet, he doesn't annoy Van. I tend to describe them as "quiet kid solidarity".

There's a lot I could talk about with regard to everyone's relationships with each other and how they interact, but that's for another time.

♫!!!

New songs:

Workout by syudou (MV release) - Music video is finally out! And I was right, the story in this one is a sequel to a previous MV. All the syudou videos by this particular animator seem to take place in the same universe, they all contain references to each other and hidden details that are a lot of fun to spot. Love how the narrative of the MV really intensifies the uplifting feel of the song, it's really nice to see :)
Sakura Biyori and Time Machine by Ado with Hatsune Miku - It's not really my thing :P This kinda slow emotional style of music isn't really something I personally like listening to, it's just whatever. It's kinda cool that Hatsune Miku is there too, but like... idk it doesn't have a big impact on me. I do think human-Vocaloid duets are neat, I just didn't care much for this one.
Engawa by Yukopi (feat. flower) - Yukopi making a song with flower???!!!?? My favorite Vocaloid??? Until now they've only used Kaai Yuki so this was a complete surprise lol. I like how the song kinda changes its vibe to match flower's character, like all the songs with Yuki are silly and bouncy but since flower is a bit edgier, this one is more of a chill metal song instead. Just a chill metal song about flower going to get sushi I like how Yukopi's songs are always about the most mundane slice-of-life things, usually involving food. They're very silly c:

New covers (both Sou collabs lol):

Sou & Isubokuro - Mesmerizer (32ki) - Sou Mesmerizer let's go!! I was honestly expecting him to cover Mesmerizer with Ivudot, but I guess this works too. Never heard of Isubokuro before but he sounds alright. (I don't have much to say about this one either... every now and then I hear a cover where I just go "this is exactly what _____ sung by ______ would sound like" without anything standing out to me. That's not a bad thing, just a neutral thing.)
Sou & Ivudot - Fatal (GEMN) - aaaaaaaaah you have to be kidding me! lmao I've only just managed to get Fatal out of my head and now I'm gonna get dragged back into it :') Like, whenever I hear this song I end up looping it for hours, and now I have three different versions to switch between, so I'll be stuck in it for even longer lol. It's a good cover though! I like how it sounds a bit lighter than the original, compared to how the Chogakusei/Gero version sounds heavier. If that makes sense. Like, if we put the original in the middle, Sou and Ivudot's voices have a more high, clear, fresh sound, while Chogakusei and Gero's voices are lower and have a more dramatic shout-like sound. But I like all of them!

d:
I never know what to end these posts with. Fun fact, syudou is actually pronounced "shudou". Kinda like "shoo doh" if I had to put it more clearly/weirdly. Figured I'd put that there since I've been talking about him a lot.

Dubious Disc · Nov 6, 2024

November is real now, I guess??
They're making a new building at my college, so a big space in the middle of campus is now fenced off and full of construction. It kinda sucks, because the building isn't set to be finished until after my expected graduation, so I'm gonna have to spend the rest of college with this unsightly construction zone :/ And my favorite nature trail is part of the area that's closed off, so I won't even be able to use it at all.

Anyway, rounding out the OC quartet with Chase!! She started out doing Gyms alongside March and Van, but later stopped to focus on the Pokéathlon instead, although she still isn't totally sure if that's what she ultimately wants to do. She's March's ride-or-die best friend and a natural born jokester, always overflowing with energy. Even though she's shorter than everyone else, she still stands out and commands attention in her own way. (Basically, she naturally does what March has to work really hard to achieve.)

Chase is probably the one I relate to least, but I've known a lot of funny people that I take inspiration from when developing her personality. Class clowns and comedians and whatnot. I didn't want her to be too exaggerated or annoying, just to come across as goofy and likeable. And even if you don't like her, it's hard to ignore her.

In terms of what's going on beneath the surface, though? Honestly, I have no idea. Chase is actually a complete enigma to me. Maybe it's because I based her on a type very different from myself rather than incorporating bits of my own personality into her character like I did with everyone else, but I haven't been able to get inside her head the way I have with the others. I don't know what she really thinks or what motivates her. There's this notion like "the funniest people are the saddest inside" or something like that, but I don't even know if that's the case with Chase. Maybe she's sad, but maybe she's genuinely happy. I have no idea. She's much more private and secretive than people might assume. She doesn't even let me know anything lol.

From an outside perspective it probably seems strange that I say things like "I don't know ______ about this character, they haven't told me" considering that I'm the person who actually created them, but I feel like at a certain point my characters eventually grow into their own people and develop layers that even I don't know about yet. Like I'm just observing and recording them, rather than actually dictating what they say or do. I create them in the sense that I give them a general base to start from - I give them a name, appearance, interests, general personality, friends, etc. but then I set them free into whatever world they're in and just watch from the outside as they grow and change and interact on their own.

Like, I didn't initially intend for March to dislike Elliot, but after discovering more about their childhood friendships with Terry and the different ways they saw things, it just naturally sprang into being. I didn't know that Van listens to podcasts, or that Elliot is scared of fire, or that Chase collects plushies. I didn't even know about all the secret resentment Elliot has stored up. It doesn't feel at all like I'm writing these traits into them, all of this just feels like stuff I learned about them afterward. Like they already existed fully developed after I initially sketched them out, and I'm just gradually uncovering more about them bit by bit.

Chase's team includes Meganium, Raichu, and Skarmory, but I don't know what a good Pokéathlon team looks like, so I haven't looked into what other mon would work. Her training focuses more on her Pokémon's physical traits and strength rather than moves and Abilities, so their movesets aren't as important.

The usual. (music talk)

New songs:

AiChuDoku by Amatsuki & Chogakusei & Kairiki Bear - ←←← Epic trio right here!! New stuff from Kairiki Bear was a surprise in itself, but it's an Amatsuki/Chogakusei collab too! Like pretty much every Kairiki Bear song, it's super addictive and I've been looping it for days. In the back of my mind I've always wanted to hear a Chogakusei/Kairiki Bear collab, so it's really cool to finally see it become a reality. The vocals sound really good too - I'm usually a bit iffy on Chogakusei duets with other male singers, but his voice contrasts super nicely with Amatsuki's. They might honestly be one of my favorite voice combos, I've listened to their other collabs and their sounds are such a good match.

I saw some people using "Supermoon" as a collab name for Amatsuki and Chogakusei, which I thought was a fun wordplay - the "cho" in Chogakusei means "super", and the "tsuki" in Amatsuki is "moon", so if you combine them, you get Supermoon. idk I just found it cool lol

New covers:

None this week. Sou and Ivudot did something but it's a song I don't feel like talking about.

Others:

Aishite Aishite Aishite and Kyoufuu All Back have finally hit the 100M mark within a day of each other! It's funny to see the incredibly jarring contrast between them - Aishite Aishite Aishite ("Love me, love me, love me") is a painful, emotional song about being neglected and desperate for love, along with an unstable, visually unsettling music video, while Kyoufuu All Back ("Hair swept back by gale-force winds") is a song complaining about how it's really windy out. And it has a silly melody played on a recorder.

I'm a bit surprised that it took this long for a Hatsune Miku song to reach 100 million views. We had songs with flower, GUMI, and Kagamine Rin reach 100M before Miku did, which is kind of impressive. I'm honestly kinda glad about it, it shows that Miku isn't the only Vocaloid who can be famous and break records.

Next up is Mesmerizer, natch (97M currently), but I don't think there's anything else close to reaching that milestone at the moment. Maybe The Vampire or Sand Planet, but they're both still around 80M so they've got a ways to go. (Edit: whoops, I totally forgot about KING lol. that's embarrassing. 照れくさいね☆ KING is actually the next most viewed after Mesmerizer at 88M)

After the syudou pronunciation thing last week it occurred to me that people might also be mispronouncing Gero - the e is short, like in "egg" or "end" or "exit" or whatnot. (i.e. his name doesn't rhyme with "zero". that's mostly what I was thinking about.)
In general, any "e" in a romanized Japanese word is short. Like, both the e's in "edamame" are short.
idk I'm just throwing that out there. I like to throw word facts around once in a while. The More You Know

Setting a goal for myself to get one actual finished, polished drawing done in November. As much as I like noodling around in MS Paint, I want to set my mind to something bigger once in a while too.

Dubious Disc · Nov 23, 2024

No thoughts, head empty. I've been busy this month. Still haven't gotten around to drawing anything big, I've just had so much to do .__.

Now that my OC analysis arc is over for the time being, I don't really know what to write lol. There's been various things drifting through my mind but nothing that I've really been able to pin down and develop more. I'm mostly just here because my backlog of music stuff that I wanted to talk about is getting long.

I said this in the good news thread already but some of my artwork recently got accepted into an exhibition for college students, so that's cool. Although oddly, I've been a bit reluctant to tell people irl about it? I guess I don't want people making a big deal about it. For some reason, I've always been a bit touchy about sharing my art stuff with the non-artists in my life.

I think it's because I feel like they have an unrealistic idea of my skills. Like, I know my value, but I know I'm not perfect and still have a lot I can improve on. But with friends and family, they always act like I'm some kind of hyper-talented prodigy whenever I show them anything I create. And whenever I express a lack of confidence or point out something I'm not happy with, it's always "but it's still so good anyway!" I know it's supposed to be encouraging, but in a way it feels like I'm being denied or disrespected. Like I'm not allowed to feel anything negative about my work. I know that's 100% not their intention, but that's how it comes off to me sometimes.

For instance, I took a painting course a few semesters ago that I struggled in. I'm never a painter, non-digital painting is not something I'm good at. I only took that class because it was required. I'm very unhappy with all the work I made in that class, but my family still insisted on displaying it in the house because they liked it. I know it's perfectly normal to not feel proud of something you've made, and I'd be totally fine just putting those paintings away and moving on without any other problems. But I don't want them displayed. So it bothers me that I have to see them all the time. To me they're a reminder of failure.

I don't like having my artwork displayed in the house at all. It feels like I'm being showed off. A part of me always dreads when guests come over and they inevitably point out the paintings that I don't like.

It sounds bad when I put it like this, but I seem to have a hard time accepting praise on my art from people around me who aren't artists. It's mostly because they don't seem to look at art the same way that I do - to them, everything I make is good, even the things that I know aren't. I'm not putting myself or anyone else down with this, I'm just looking at it realistically. Sometimes I make good things that I'm proud of, and sometimes I fumble. That's normal. That's how it is for every artist. It's fine if you like the things I'm not proud of, but please don't try to make me like them too. Just accept and understand that I'm not happy with them. I don't have to be happy with everything I've made, and that's okay. That's what I want to tell them.

I think it comes down to that "you have it better than others, so you shouldn't feel bad" mentality that gets me down at every turn. Like instead of being concerned that I'm not drawing well enough, I should just be grateful that I can draw in the first place, because so many people around me can't and wish they could.

idk. This is just something that's bothered me for a while. Maybe I'm in the wrong here, I don't really know, but this is just kinda how I see it.

Music talk.

New songs:

Putting both the Project Voltage remixes in the same bullet point because I actually didn't feel anything about them. I didn't like or dislike them. They were just... there. They were very okay. I dunno, maybe it's because I don't vibe much with iyowa, so either it's a remix of a song I didn't care much about or a remix in a style I don't care much about. Sorry
Tetoris by Hiiragi Magnetite (feat. Kasane Teto) - Teto Tetris................ The "unexpected Teto song from someone who's never used Teto" phenomenon continues, I suppose. The chorus is literally just the melody from the Tetris theme. I'm pretty sure there's some kind of underlying joke or reference behind this song that I'm not getting lol. It just has the vibe of something that started out as a joke but then they got invested in it. It's catchy though! Can't go wrong with Tetris music. The VGM fan in me is amused.
偽物 (Fake) by Meychan (MV release) - This was amazing. The little electronic sounds and effects, the soft vocals, the pixel art style MV with its chaotic dreamlike visuals, the lyrics suddenly becoming gibberish (and the hidden message they have), the way it ends, even the unsettling way the video title is just the word "fake" repeated over and over, everything comes together so perfectly to create this surreal, otherworldly feeling. There's something deeply sad and confusing about it, but it's oddly calming too. Watching this for the first time was such a strange experience. I imagine this will be one of those songs I avoid listening to too much so that the feeling doesn't fade.

New covers:

ARAKI - Bubble (Hachiya Nanashi & Meychan) - My initial impression was "fizzy bubbles" lol. Surprisingly this song sounds pretty good with ARAKI's sharper voice.
Sou & Ivudot - Isn't it "A" (PinocchioP) - This duo has the best taste in music, I swear. I really hope they do MATORYOSHKA sometime... I was kinda surprised that Sou had Miku's part while Ivudot had Rin's, I was honestly expecting it to be the opposite. Sou's voice usually has this bright, cute sound, so it's funny to see that he did the part with all the negative lyrics lol.
Chogakusei - Love ka? (Hiiragi Kirai) - HIIRAGI KIRAAAAAAAI!!!! A HIIRAGI KIRAI COVER!! IT'S BEEN 3,000 YEARS!!! (it's been two years) LOVE KA IS FINALLY HERE!! IT FINALLY HAPPENED!! And it's a remix too!! I don't totally vibe with the kinda jazzy sound of the original, so I really appreciate the more energetic remix here. This came out of absolutely nowhere, lately he's only been covering songs that came out within the past year so this unexpected 2020 Hiiragi Kirai song was a huge surprise. Chogakusei's voice always sounds great with Hiiragi Kirai's music and this is no exception. Always a good day when we get to hear the maniacal laugh he occasionally uses too.

It's cold out. As usual, winter weather drops in within just a few days with no escape. There goes my opportunity to peacefully walk outside, now it's all dashing to the nearest warm building lol.

Dubious Disc · Dec 4, 2024

Listening to Dec., since it's December.
I haven't started hearing holiday music yet, which I'm grateful for. It's still too early in my eyes.
Weird that I'll have to do my 2024 art recap soon. I was a little afraid I wouldn't have anything polished for November, but luckily I managed to get something done at the last second lol. And with Secret Santa stuff I'm guaranteed to get at least one piece finished this month. Anyway, once winter break starts I'll probably have more time to draw.

Even though the year's almost over, for some reason I don't get the same sense of "oh no the year's gone" dread that I do in November. Maybe because once December rolls around, I've had time to get used to the fact that the year is ending, so now it's more of an "oh well, guess we're in the home stretch" feeling. I don't particularly like new years either, since I always get a bit anxious at the prospect of facing a whole year where I have no idea what might happen, so December is kinda that resting spot between "the year is ending" dread and "the year is starting" dread. Yeah, a lot of dread. Anxiety does that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Past events have taught me to not judge how the year's been until the very end, since you never know what December might throw at you, but now and then I find myself thinking about how stuff has changed since the start of 2024. I know I should be looking for big character-development life stuff, but often it boils down to little things like "I learned some cool new art tricks", "I started listening to Hiiragi Kirai/Gero/any other artist that I only found recently but am already obsessed with", "I went on vacation abroad for the first time in years", "I got a tiny bit better at making small talk and phone calls", "I used an anvil for the first time" (metalworking class), that sort of thing. I guess I'm not really good at looking at things on a big scale. Like when I think of small changes, a lot of things happened in 2024, but I don't think I've grown as a person. Whatever that even means.

Despite going on about negative stuff, I'm still rather looking forward to winter break and the holidays. It'll be nice to catch a break.

quasi-weekly music reviews let's go
(long one this time)

New songs:

fighting pose!! by Amatsuki & Gero - BATTLE MUSIC!! WOOO!! Cool guitars and a lot of yelling, two of my favorite things to hear in a song! It's just some classic pumped-up motivational fighting music. Amatsuki never stops with these top-tier collabs, man. I feel like it's been a while since we've heard Gero on a real loud high-energy song like this, and with his signature piercing scream too. I was actually pretty impressed that they both pulled off the scream, like it's the kind of thing you'd expect from Gero but it was a surprise to also hear from Amatsuki lol.
- I also noticed that in the past month or so we've completed another Amatsuki/Gero/Chogakusei collab triangle - now each pair has done both a cover and an original song, which is pretty cool. At the moment they're my three favorite utaites that are still active, so I like that they're doing so much together lol.
Killer Tuner by Chogakusei (music: Frog96) - Spooky vibes! Cool electronic noises and a moderate amount of yelling, more of my favorite things to hear in a song. It's a bit eerie, but it's an absolute banger, especially once the beat really kicks in.
- By the way, the QR code in the MV shows the lyrics if you keep the reader over it without scanning, like this. I don't know if it works on all phones, but it's a neat detail.
Face This Way by asmi (music: Surii) (MV release) - I love how much Surii's style comes through in this song lol. Both in the bouncy upbeat instrumental and the rhythm of the lyrics, it's textbook Surii all the way through. asmi's voice is a really good match for this vibe too, it's cheery without being annoying (which is honestly difficult to find).
Louder Louder by Fushi (feat. GUMI) - New Fushi! Let's go!! And it's a banger as always! It's a bit more rock-sounding than some of the other more recent songs (not like I dislike those, they're just as good), so it's got more of the iconic Fushi vibe. The bass solo in this one is really cool too.

New covers:

Gero - MoeChakkaFire (issey) - Been a while since the last solo Gero cover! I'm honestly not too surprised it's this song though, it's been so popular lately. I think it's originally the theme song of a character from a gacha game? Anyway, it's really blown up in the last two months or so, I've seen covers of it all over the place. (I'm betting on either Amatsuki or Sou to cover it next. just my gut instinct.) I usually find the low voice at the beginning to be kind of annoying but it sounds good here. I'd say my favorite part of this cover specifically is actually the bridge, with how it starts with the high voice and turns into the classic Gero scream at the end.

I'm tired of seeing Monitoring everywhere lol. This song came out like yesterday (actually more like two weeks ago), but everyone's been covering it and doing mashups and stuff and I can't get away from it. It probably wouldn't bother me half as much if I didn't find the thumbnail image so unsettling, I don't wanna see that big creepy eye jumpscaring me in my recommendations :(

GEMN performed Fatal on THE FIRST TAKE recently, once again giving me another version of this song to never get tired of. This one had a more laid-back acoustic style instead of the high energy and effects of the original, so it's got a different vibe. It's more chill, while still being a bit dramatic. Could be worth listening to if I get burnt out from listening to too much loud stuff lol.

Currently theming Unfriendly Hater, since it's another one of my favorite songs. Specifically using the rule-following nerd character (his name is Makoto) as my avi because I, too, tend to be the rule-following nerd in any dynamic. Not sure what I'll do for a holiday theme, though. Maybe just a festive Porygon-Z or something.

Dubious Disc · Dec 18, 2024

I think, as long as I can listen to Chinozo's music, there will always be a part of me that is alright.

New Chinozo song time!!! Nice to hear KAFU again c:
This one is called "No branding", and based on what Chinozo said about it, it seems to be a song about struggling to create and keep up a specific image for yourself, particularly on social media where there's kind of an obligation to craft an image or identity and stick to it. And if you mess up or make any mistakes, your image will be damaged and you won't be able to take it back, like it's very difficult to erase your mistakes in the eyes of others. I think that's why the MV shows her walking on a tightrope in the chorus, because if you take one wrong step on a tightrope you'll fall off and that's the end of it.
I like how upbeat it sounds! Usually Chinozo's KAFU songs are more laid-back or minimal, so it's nice to get a faster one for a change.

Anyway I'm on rambling mode today. I actually wrote most of this yesterday and saved it for today because by the time it came to my mind it was too late in the day to finish a full post, so it's even more long and incoherent than usual. Bear with me lol.

Recently a smaller Vocaloid producer that I semi-regularly listen to was talking about something that kinda made me stop and think a little. It was a really casual statement, more of a "hmm this is just what's on my mind" thing (kinda like these blog posts, I guess) so it wasn't something serious, but it still caught my attention. So I thought I'd try and iron out my own thoughts on the subject, just because.

(I do want to make it clear that I'm not attacking this particular artist or their viewpoint. I'm not disagreeing with them or saying they're wrong, I'm just trying to get an understanding of their perspective. I'm doing this more out of curiosity, like a sense of "huh, never looked it that way before. How does this change the way I see things?")

The gist of what they were saying is that they noticed that illustrators seem much more protective of their work than musicians, like illustrators will be very strict about not allowing others to use their art while musicians are more okay with sampling or using their music (with permission and credit, natch, but still). They expressed the opinion that illustrators are more self-centered, while musicians are more tolerant. Like there's this general feeling that music belongs to everyone, not just the musician, while art is just the property of the the artist. (yes, I know musicians are also artists, but for simplicity's sake I'm using "artist" to specifically refer to illustrators/visual artists here.)

They seemed to be a bit negative toward this idea, like they were uncomfortable with how artists are much less tolerant of others using their work. This gave me pause for a moment, since it made me realize that I'm basically standing on the other side here, like as an artist I'm looking at this from the complete opposite perspective. They're looking at this as a musician, where their area (?) is more okay with their work being shared and used beyond themselves, and they don't understand why artists are more possessive of their work. But I'm an artist, so I do (or should) understand why. I can't speak for all artists, but me personally, I probably wouldn't like people using my art for their own purposes. With my permission it'd be fine, but even if they gave credit, it feels a bit strange that someone would just take my work and use it. (And obviously, using someone else's art without credit or trying to pass it off as your own is not good either, but that's objectively wrong, so it's not entirely the same thing.)

So does that make me self-centered? From an outside perspective, it does, doesn't it? It's my work, and nobody else can use it. Sure sounds self-centered. But from my point of view, it's not an ego thing. To me, it's more of a way to protect myself, to protect my creations from theft. Maybe it's because I don't want to see my (or anyone else's) work devalued and reduced to a disposable thing that one can freely throw around. I see it as a way to protect my work, but it's not hard to see how someone else can see it as being selfish or overly protective. (And that's why I wanted to write about this, because it showed me an entirely different way of looking at something that I've only ever seen one way. So many artists have a "don't use my work" policy and I've always naturally understood it, but I've never stopped to think about how non-artists see it.)

I've always heard more about stealing art than stealing music, so I guess I've assumed that stealing art is a bigger problem, but I realize that I'm not in touch with the music world, so maybe there is a music-stealing problem too but artists are reacting in a different way than musicians when their work is reused. I don't really know.

So I, as an artist, have a perspective that they don't. But at the same time, they as a musician have a perspective that I don't. As someone who's been around a lot of artists but very few musicians, I don't know the inner details of how the music world works and how it differs from the art world. Which is why I'm not saying that their point of view is wrong - they're looking at it through a different lens that I've never seen through, so I can't claim to have the more valid experience when I don't even know what their experience is.

I guess the TL;DR is something like this: I saw a musician talking about how they find illustrators much more self-centered and possessive of their work than musicians are, and my gut reaction was "but of course we're not", but then as I thought about it I realized "maybe they kinda have a point? Maybe that's how it appears?" Are we actually selfish or intolerant for being protective of our work, or are we doing it out of necessity to avoid theft? Is using others' art a bigger problem than using others' music? How do the two differ from each other? Is it wrong to not allow others to use your art, or is it reasonable? I think it's reasonable, but of course I'm biased.

Dunno, I'm not making any particular statement here. Just throwing stuff at the wall. I thought what that musician said was food for thought, so I ate it(????). And these are the crumbs??? No idea. I'm a bit tired. o7

quasi-weekly music reviews let's goooooo (it's actually been two weeks)

New songs:

Take Me To The Beach (feat. Ado) by Imagine Dragons (flashing lights warning) - I've only ever talked about Vocaloid/utaite/J-pop stuff on this blog, so it feels odd to mention a big Western artist like Imagine Dragons here lol. But here we are, an Imagine Dragons/Ado collab!! Ado's power continues to grow... They've done other versions of this song with different artists, but I don't really feel inclined to listen to them when there's an Ado version right here lol. Anyway, it's awesome! Ado's sound fits really well with the rest of the band, and it was really cool to hear her do both Japanese and English lyrics. Even if you don't listen to the other songs I talk about (completely understandable), I definitely recommend you check this one out c:
堕キュ♡ by Meddmia (feat. Hatsune Miku & KAFU) (I have no idea how to translate this song title) - Aaaaand back to the usual stuff lol. YAAAAAAY NEW MEDDMIA SONG!!!! It's been so long!! Banger as always, Meddmia is practically incapable of making a song that isn't incredibly catchy. I always like how much attitude his music has, like it always has this vibe of smug coolness, especially in Miku's voice. Even songs like this that have a more "cute" atmosphere still have a bit of an edge to them.

New covers:

Chogakusei - Monitoring (DECO*27) - maaaaan did I not just say I was tired of this song? lol But this cover doesn't have that big creepy eyeball in the thumbnail so I don't mind. Honestly, the fact that I actually really liked this, and many other people's DECO*27 covers, is making me suspect that maybe I don't actually dislike Deco's music, I just don't like his tuning. Even the same Vocaloid can sound different depending on who's using them, so maybe I just dislike Deco's Miku specifically. Anyway, since this particular version of Monitoring has neither the annoying Miku voice nor the creepy eyeball, I do in fact like it a bit more.
Sou & Ivudot - Jabberwocky-Jabberwocka (Karasuyasabou) - A 2011 Rin & Len song that I've never heard of... guh I know so little about older Vocaloid music, it's super embarrassing T__T They sound really cool here though! Love the vibes. Ivudot's "turn up! turn up!" part in particular really gets in my head.

I've been meaning to get around to leaving stuff on everyone's trees for the Color My Tree thing but it's so hard to think of things to say... I know it doesn't have to be anything super big or special, but I struggle to express even the smallest things so I have no idea how to not come off as super awkward lol.

Almost done with the semester! Just one more big project to go and I'll be free >__<

Dubious Disc · Dec 28, 2024

Three weeks of respite from the menacing college grind! It's winter break!!

What I don't like about the semester ending so late is that Christmas comes so quickly that you don't even have time to anticipate it or anything. Right up until the end of finals week you can't even afford to think about the holidays, and then once it's over you only have a few days to get into the Christmas spirit before that's over too. But there's still two weeks left, so I guess I'm not so bothered about it.

It's good to have more free time since I'm not weighed down by class work, but now I have to do errands and chores and stuff instead. And I can't use the excuse of being too busy with studying or working on projects. So it's not like I have too much free time, because it keeps getting interrupted with "do this" and "do that".

I suppose I should do some kind of retrospective on 2024 now that the year is almost over, but...meh. I feel like I've already said everything in the "how was 2024 for you" thread, and I don't want to just repeat everything. At any rate, 2024 was better than 23. More interesting. 2023 felt like a long waste of time, but I think more things happened this year.

I always approach the new year with a bit of unease, like I said a few posts ago I tend to get anxious about facing a whole year where I have no idea what might happen. There might be good things, of course, but there's always the possibility for something to throw things dramatically off course when you least expect it. I know it's pointless to worry, last year I had the exact same fear that something would go wrong and yet here I am, still in good shape. If anything, I'm in a slightly better place than where I started. Mostly in terms of superficial things, not the big life stuff that actually matters, but I mean...I think I'm a cooler person than I was in 2023. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But that tiny voice in my head won't shut up about "but what if this year ends up being different?" My conscious mind wants to be optimistic, but my anxious subconscious mind can't help but fear.

I'm trying my best. I'm not good at looking at the bright side or the big picture, but I'm trying my best.

Last music dump of the year! Bear with me o7

New songs:

EVOLVE EVOLVE EVOLVE by Sasuke Haraguchi (feat. Hatsune Miku) - FORGIVE MEEEEE I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT THE NEW PROJECT VOLTAGE SONG!! I'M SO LATE AHHHHHHH! ANYWAY. Somehow, despite being a big fan of both Project Voltage and Sasuke Haraguchi's music, I completely missed the fact that he was doing a song for Project Voltage, it was the biggest shock hearing the evolution sound in the intro. Honestly though, Sasuke Haraguchi is a good fit for Project Voltage, he already uses a lot of samples and weird sounds so it feels totally natural hearing the Pokémon sound effects. That being said, I feel like this song is a bit lacking in the chaotic energy that Sasuke's other songs have, so I find it somewhat less fun to listen to. That's just my opinion, though.
- I guess I can start again with speculating what producers are likely to join Project Voltage, but now I'm kinda out of ideas, everyone I had in mind has already participated. Maybe Hiiragi Magnetite? (I could actually see this happening.) NILFRUITS? (They rarely use Miku, but it's always a possibility.) Surii? (He doesn't use Miku much either, but he is fairly well-known.) Chinozo?? (It's literally become a running joke that he never uses Miku.) Yoshida Yasei? (Odds are low, but never zero.) NAKISO? (Maybe if it was a spookier song.) I'd love to hear Meddmia, but I don't see any chance of it. Does Ayase even do Vocaloid stuff anymore? I don't think Tsumiki does either. Nooooo clue. I'm sure I'm overlooking someone really obvious. If I get any of these right, please feel free to congratulate me on my genius foresight.
Summitify by Yoshida Yasei (feat. Hatsune Miku) - ...racing game music. It's literally racing game music. This is exactly the kind of crazy EDM I associate with racing game music. And it's a BANGER. Me calling something "racing game music" is absolutely a compliment, I LOVE crazy EDM racing game music.
Golem by Folicca (feat. KAFU) - Folicca songs with robotic/mechanical motifs The bouncy piano in the background is always nice.

New songs (non-Vocaloid):

心中世界 by Meychan - Meychan again! It's now been six months since he went on hiatus, I hope he's doing well. The vibes here are really nice, the lyrics themselves are a bit depressing but the music itself is very cheery and cute, so it ultimately has a feel-good energy instead of making you sad. Meychan's voice does a good job of bridging the gap, as it were, between the mood of the lyrics and music.
IN_MY_HEAD by natori - I've never gotten around to listening to natori (apart from the songs everyone's heard), but I got curious about this one and checked it out, and it's really good! The chaotic rock is a lot of fun. It really does give off the feeling of having too much going on in your head.
Help me by Surii - I think if I watch the MV around 50 more times I might figure out what the story is? idk lol. The way the energy switches between more intense and more upbeat is interesting. It's a good combo of the cheerful and rock styles that Surii's original music has. (Some of the guitar sounds also reminded me a bit of Kairiki Bear and I just thought that was amusing.)

New covers:

Chogakusei - Fake Human No. 40 (¿?shimon) - IT'S FINALLY HERE!! LET'S GO!!! Couldn't have asked for a better way to end 2024, with a cover that I've wanted to hear ever since the first time I listened to the original. Loud angry electronic music with a lot of yelling, exactly the kind of thing I can listen to for hours without tiring. This is still the type of music that Chogakusei's voice was specifically built for.
Amatsuki also dropped like three different covers within the last 7 days but I won't go over them all individually. You've read this far, I won't subject you to any more.

I'm looking forward to all the new music I'll get to discover and share next year! I went into 2024 only knowing a fraction of the songs and artists I listen to now, and I know my horizons will continue to grow in 2025 and I'll find even more to bother you about ^__^ Project Voltage songs, collabs, new vocal synth releases, hopefully more Chinozo self covers since it's been more than a year since the last one, anime openings, whatever Chogakusei does for his imminent 1 million subscribers milestone, more Vocaloid songs reaching 100 million views, Goodbye Sengen's fifth anniversary... And all the totally new unexpected stuff, too.

See you in 2025!

Dubious Disc · Jan 15, 2025

Happy 2025!

This is actually a Sou song, but it was written by Chinozo, so I'm putting it here anyway.

Kicking off the year with a Sou/Chinozo collab! This is an anime opening as well, so congrats to them both :)
It's a very cute song, Sou's voice really matches the vibe of Chinozo's music. I'm glad to see them collab again!

Anyway, winter break is over.

My semester is off to a bit of a rocky start so far, my schedule has some really messy time slots and it's been difficult to figure out how to time commutes and meals and stuff so I actually get to my classes on time. So even though I don't actually have anything to work on yet, I still find myself being stressed out. I've already started feeling some traces of the panicky anxiety that hit me for a few weeks last semester, hopefully I'll be able to hold that off before it becomes a problem.

Even though I don't want my classes to be difficult, I can't deny that there's a degree of satisfaction that comes from finally pulling through a difficult class. Last semester I had a particularly tough class that just piled on the work with no mercy, and it was really miserable at the time, but looking back I feel like I ultimately learned a lot about time management and coping with anxiety along with the stuff that the class was actually teaching. So the class sucked, but now that it's done I can appreciate what I learned from it.

That's what I'm trying to keep in mind for this semester. Even if I end up having a tough time, I'll probably feel better once it's done. The more life throws at me, the more practice I'll get in dealing with having things thrown at me.

It is a bit tiring just constantly enduring stuff, though. I'd like to have fun too, but lately it just seems to be like long periods of enduring with tiny bits of fun scattered throughout.

All I can really do is keep moving forward. o7

First music dump of the year! Let's gooooooooooooooooooooooooo

New songs (non-Vocaloid):

Arareya Kon Kon by issey - This is another character theme for Zenless Zone Zero, like MoeChakkaFire was. I'm impressed at how completely different this song is though, the high voice and traditional Japanese style instruments are a huge contrast to the low voice and catchy beat from MoeChakkaFire. Really shows issey's range. At some points it's almost hard to believe they were both sung by the same person. I don't actually know anything about ZZZ, so I can't tell how the song relates to the character, but it's still easy to tell that there's some sort of emotional story behind it.
Southern Cross by Amatsuki (music: NayutalieN) - I had to double check and make sure this wasn't an anime OP lol. It feels slightly different from the NayutalieN music I'm used to, but it's still really good, very happy and uplifting. Until now I haven't really noticed how well Amatsuki's voice matches Nayutan's music, I should listen to more of his covers of their songs.

New covers:

Chogakusei - IN_MY_HEAD (natori) - Listening to natori's new song on a whim paid off lol. Kicking off the year with another loud song, love to hear it!
KANKAN - ●utlaws (masarada) - KANKAN doesn't do covers very often anymore, so it was nice to see a new one after almost a year! And ●utlaws was one of my favorite Vocaloid songs from 2024, so I'm really glad to see KANKAN covering it. I'm just glad that so many of the utaites I like have covered it, because ●utlaws always sounds good with powerful energetic voices and it's a lot of fun to listen to.

I'm glad I got to draw a lot over break, at least.

Plus I managed to make it through break without getting stuck with art block, so I was actually able to use my free time to draw instead of just staring at the canvas the whole time.

Dubious Disc · Feb 18, 2025

(I have a music video embedded here, but spoilering it because it isn't Chinozo and I don't want to interrupt the "embed every Chinozo song" pattern)

Incubator finally has a music video!! I remember talking about Incubator in my first post here, it's still just as much of a banger now and I'm glad the MV is finally here. Hopefully now it gets the attention it deserves. (Also, there are so many details that basically confirm this is a Kyubey villain song. It's not even a stretch lol. I mean, there's another song in the same album that is blatantly about The Shining, so why not have one about Madoka Magica?)

Man, it's been a month already... Can't believe I used to have enough time on my hands to post here once a week. I've actually been writing this in a separate place and just adding on to it whenever I have time, I started writing this on the 13th but it might be a few days later once I actually post it. (and yes, now it's the 17th.)

More OC posting, I guess. I won't let you escape them

I feel like I've mentioned this before, but even though they live in the Pokémon universe, it seems like I always end up focusing on the Trainers more than the Pokémon. Their lives are shaped by aspects of the Pokémon world, but the Pokémon are secondary to the people and their emotions, hence why I don't actually know anyone's team. There are some cases where characters' actions and dynamics are directly shaped by things intrinsic to the Pokémon world, like how March and Van's relationship is fundamentally tied to the conventional idea of having a rival on your Pokémon journey, but there's plenty of other stories that are just normal human experiences that could take place in any universe, not specifically Pokémon. Terry moving away and leaving his friends behind is something that can happen in real life, too. (Everything that happens to him in Hoenn is much more heavily Pokémon-related, but that's another story.)

In a way, I use these stories to relate my own experiences of losing not just friends, but losing connection with familiar things and people. Up until high school, I had known all the people in my classes for years, and we were familiar with each other, even if we weren't friends (which we usually weren't). But I knew them. And then we graduated and all went our separate ways, and starting college classes with a bunch of people I didn't know was a very lonely, disorienting experience.

As someone who dwells a lot on friendships and human connections (usually from without), I guess it makes sense that these ideas make their way into my characters a lot.

Terry moving to Hoenn and suddenly finding himself unable to fit in and constantly missing his old friends is, in that way, a reflection of how I felt (and am still feeling). I haven't gone much into Terry's experience in Hoenn, but the general idea is that after having had a place to belong all his life, he suddenly finds himself struggling to get by without his friends, and has a hard time fitting in with the new people he meets. And he ends up holding himself back from meeting new friends because he keeps comparing them to the ones he used to have. It would have been hard enough for him to try and live a normal life, but all the Pokémon protagonist stuff that happens to him makes things even more complicated.

And in the meantime, Terry's friends back in Johto feeling his absence is also very similar to the way I've felt when being separated from friends, particularly friends from high school that I haven't had any contact with since graduation. Wondering how they're doing, hoping they're okay, wishing I could talk to them again, but worrying that they've probably changed from how I knew them. (And Terry's dramatic change in personality after living in Hoenn for a few years reflects this.)

March spent so much of her childhood thinking she had feelings for Terry, but after he moved away she realized that she had spent so much time chasing him that she never really stopped to appreciate the friendship they already had. She regrets only ever seeing him as "the person she likes" rather than who he actually was to her. (And yet this didn't change the fact that she keeps seeing Van as "the rival". March is a bit inconsistent when it comes to learning from her mistakes.)

Elliot often depended on Terry in social situations, like he would always follow Terry around and Terry would often be the one to speak for him, so after he left, Elliot suddenly found himself needing to navigate interactions and stuff by himself. And the rest of the group instinctively looked to him, Terry's closest friend, to fill the void of "leader". Elliot spent a long time missing Terry, but in his absence, was forced to come out of his own shell and learn to open up more. So Elliot's personality now is noticeably different from how Terry remembers him (just as Terry is different from how Elliot remembers him).

If Terry hadn't left, I think he and Van might have ended up as friendly, or at least respectful, rivals. As it is, Van ended up stuck with March as his rival. Van also eventually becomes friends with Elliot, which likely wouldn't have happened if Terry was still there. Honestly it's a bit intriguing to think about how things would be different if Terry didn't move away, I should look more at that sometime.

I'm still not really sure about the details of Chase and Terry's dynamic - I'm sure they got along well, since they had similar personalities, but I still haven't figured out their emotional connections. Chase in general is still a mystery to me.

Anyway, the TL;DR of all this is "I lose friends, so I write about people who lose friends." There's so much I could talk about with everyone's relationships and how they connect with each other, and how those connections change over time. Everything here is just a tiny part of the messy disorganized universe in my head. o7

Longer music section because it's been a month

(not really, it's just because I ramble a lot)

New songs:

FOCUS by KIRA (feat. GUMI) - English Vocaloid jumpscare! KIRA sure likes his capital letters, I always feel like I'm shouting when I mention his song titles. "FOCUS! FAKE HEART! GETCHA!" I believe this is a character song for Honkai Star Rail. There's something about this song that feels so much like something I'd hear on the radio or playing in a mall in the early-mid 2010s, I don't know what it is but it sticks in my head so easily. It's super crisp and catchy. The tuning is so good too, the switch between English and Japanese is seamless and the raspy sound is really cool, it's not something I often hear with GUMI.
Horafuki Puppet by Wada Takeaki (feat. Kasane Teto) - More Wada Takeaki!! Good old funky Wada Takeaki music! With Teto too! I know I said a few posts back that I'm glad to see so many producers using Teto SynthV nowadays, and she does still have a good voice, but I have to say... I've gotten a bit tired of the trend. So I appreciate this song using Teto's UTAU voicebank as well! I smiled so hard hearing it in the chorus. I don't hear a lot of original songs that use both Teto's UTAU and SV voices, so I'm glad Takeaki went there. His self cover is really good too!

New songs (non-Vocaloid):

Plazma by Kenshi Yonezu - I really like the vibes in this one, it almost sounds spacey with the fast-paced electronic bits and all the little sounds in the background. Which, since it's from Gundam, I guess it makes sense that it has an electronic sci-fi type sound. I can definitely see this becoming one of my favorite Kenshi Yonezu songs.

New covers:

SymaG - Tinplate's Dance (new version) (Hinata Electric Works) - TINPLATE'S DANCE REMAKE!! LET'S GO!! The vocal in this one doesn't have as much of a punch as the original, but it does have more flair, if that makes sense. Like it has more personality. I like the remix too, it's got a cleaner sound that matches the fresher-feeling voice. I can never get enough of Tinplate's Dance covers, Miku's voice in the original feels a bit thin especially in the chorus so I love hearing people sing it with a lot of power.
nPn feat. Hatsune Miku - Killer Tuner (Chogakusei) - I don't think I've mentioned any Vocaloid covers here before, but I felt like sharing this one. The more robotic voice and effects fit the song in an interesting way, I feel like it amplifies the analog-horror vibe you get with the MV. It takes the song's overall energy in a different direction: Chogakusei's voice in the original gives the song a dark, ominous feel while Miku here makes it sound more alien and enigmatic. There's also a part in the second chorus where I suspect they might have switched to Miku's English voicebank, her pronunciation changes slightly in just that section and it has a more English sound to it, kinda like Kanaria's GUMI. I don't know for sure, but it's just something I noticed.
Gero - Propose (Naisho no Pierce) - Propose is one of those songs I've seen around a lot, but didn't care enough to actually listen to until an utaite I like did a cover of it and I thought "shoot, guess I gotta listen to it now." I'm always impressed by how many different personalities Gero's voice seems to have, like it just completely transforms to match the mood of the song. Even though the whole "painful/toxic/disturbed love" genre that's popular among Vocaloid songs will never be my cup of tea, I have to admit Gero does a really good job conveying that sort of vibe. There's some good shouts in this one, but here you can tell there's pain behind them rather than being angry or energetic.
FAKE TYPE., an electro swing/rap duo I listen to semi-frequently, also recently released an album with self-covers of songs they've written for other artists, and almost all my favorites are on it! There's too many to go over each one individually, but I'm very happy to hear all of them c:

My favorite Chinozo song finally reached 1 million views ^__^ I will still never understand why PetaPeta is so underappreciated.

Speaking of Chinozo, he's writing another song for Project Sekai! It should be out sometime this month. And judging from a recent post he made, he's also making a song with Hatsune Miku, so I assume that'll be the Vocaloid version. I guess this is the conclusion to the "Miku is miffed that she doesn't get to sing in Chinozo's songs" bit.

I've been working on a project for my math class and it's really been stressing me out. If I was just doing this on my own time I'd be fine with it and I might even enjoy it, but having to do it for a grade and with a deadline just makes it stressful instead. Because now I'm not focused on learning something new and interesting, I'm focused on making sure I work everything out in time and get everything right and write the report correctly and get a good grade and whatnot. This is why I don't like formally studying the things I'm casually interested in - even if it's something I like, the class will still find a way to take the fun out of it.

I wanted to draw something for the Bulbasaur collab, but ultimately I ended up being too busy. ( _ _ ) I've had so many ideas for Pokémon gijinkas floating around in my head and no time to draw them... I should probably at least write them down somewhere so I don't forget. I don't want to work, I wanna draw!

Dubious Discourse

You're at the mercy of the hunter!!

my friend and the sunset

my friend and the sunset

my friend and the sunset

my friend and the sunset

my friend and the sunset

my friend and the sunset

my friend and the sunset

You're at the mercy of the hunter!!

my friend and the sunset

my friend and the sunset

You're at the mercy of the hunter!!

my friend and the sunset

my friend and the sunset

my friend and the sunset

my friend and the sunset

my friend and the sunset

my friend and the sunset

my friend and the sunset

my friend and the sunset

We value your privacy