The
release of the Pocket Monsters video games was a big event for the
world of video games. Pokemon Red, Green, and Blue basically
revived the dying handheld video game market, and without Pokemon we
most likely wouldn't have most of the handheld goodies that we have
today. As more of the games were released, improvements were
made, but it always feels like we've been there, done that before...
This list was inspired by The
Grand List of Console Role Playing Game Clichés. If
you
would like to contribute anything to the list, please e-mail me and they will
most
likely be posted. Please note that any submission made to the
list may be reworded/corrected/otherwise
tampered with by me before being posted.
Explanatory Opening Rule
Despite
the fact that the protagonist lives in a world surrounded
by pokémon and has seen them used to perform the tasks of
everyday
life, the professor will always find it necessary to explain to him
what
they are.
Big Fish in a Small Pond
No
matter how prestigious the leading authority on pokémon
is, he will almost always live in the smallest, most uninteresting town
in the
game.
Law of Convenience
That same professor
will also happen to be the protagonist's
neighbor, making it almost too easy for him to start his pokémon
journey.
Fashion Statement (Scientists)
Every single
scientist you meet, with the exception of maybe
the
leading researcher, will be wearing glasses. Stereotype much?
What's the Assistant For?
Every professor has
an assistant, yet this assistant doesn't
seem to serve any purpose whatsoever.
Hey, it's comfortable AND convenient
The main character
will always wear a cap of some kind.
Fashion Statement (Protagonist)
No matter where you
go, the protagonist will be the only
person
wearing his respective clothing, while all the lasses, lads, beauties,
etc.
all share the same uniform.
Mute Protagonist Rule
While pokémon
have a limited vocabulary consisting of
their name, the protagonist's vocabulary is just as limited in that he
can
only say "yes" or "no" throughout the course of the entire game.
You
don't have to yell! (submitted by Duke)
For some reason, all
the proper nouns in the game are in all caps, so a
typical sentence is as such: "The GYM LEADER, known as BROCK, has
powerful ROCK-type POKÉMON, such as ONIX and GEODUDE, that know
ROCK
SLIDE and MAGNITUDE. They are especially strong against ELECTRIC-type,
FIRE-type, and FLYING-type POKÉMON. Be sure to bring POTIONs and
REVIVEs." Even the pre-selected names the games give you are in all
caps.
Well, how else is he supposed to pass the first nine years
of his
life?
The main character's
bedroom will always have a TV in it
with
Nintendo's latest system hooked up.
Go ahead honey, explore the world. I'll just stay here
and fold socks all day.
Your mom, no matter
how dynamic a life YOU lead, is content
to
let her ten year old face off against the world alone while she stays
home
and goes through her everyday routine.
Disgruntled Rival Rule
You will always have
a rival, but you're never told why he's
your rival in the first place. You'll go through the entire
region
with this guy who's pissed off at you and you never find out what you
did
to him to make him so upset.
Actually, maybe this is the reason why...
The Professor can
never remember his own grandchild's name.
Early Bird gets the pokemon
You will always
arrive at the professor's lab to pick out
your
starter pokemon before your rival does, no matter how long you spend
talking
to people in town.
The Elementary Three
The starting
pokémon will always be made up of
one
grass-type, one fire-type, and one water-type. Also,
there
will always be exactly three to choose from.
Scissors Beats Paper, Paper Beats Rock, and
Bulldozer
Beats all Three
Your
rival ALWAYS picks the Pokemon that's strong against the one you picked.
Go Bulldozer!
(submitted by Duke)
The first two Gym Leaders will almost always be smooth sailing for one
of the Starter Pokémon, neutral for another Starter
Pokémon, and very,
very hard for the other Starter Pokémon to get through.
Lance is unimpressed
by your Charizard (submitted by Duke)
However, by the end of the game, the Starter that breezed through the
first two Gyms will be almost useless against the major bosses, while
the Starter that had the most difficult time in the first two Gyms will
be highly effective.
First Captures rule
The first Pokemon
you catch will be, in no particular order,
1) a furry Normal type 2) a Bug type 3) a small Flying type, none of
which
are particularly useful against the first gym leader.
But once he gets started...
Despite the fact
that he's late at the beginning of the
game,
your Rival makes it to EVERY gym before you do.
Rival's hot air
Your rival will
gloat about how great a Pokemon catcher and
trainer
he is, but won't have a full party of six Pokemon until near end of the
game.
Overpopulation Rule
Every region has the
annoying normal-type pokemon (usually
based
on a household pest) who shows up in every area, dishes out the least
experience,
and messes up the odds of encountering a much better pokemon.
Hey, at least they're polite
Pokémon never
ever leave tall grass or water.
Something Fishy’s afoot…
No matter what your
location is - a dark cave, a field of
tall
grass, a desert - your fish pokémon will always be able to
battle
on land.
Something
Footy's afish... (submitted by Aaron Hall)
Your pokemon will be able to use Dive on land and Dig underwater.
Mesmerized by Magikarp
Running away from a
wild Magikarp, even if it only knows
Splash,
is never a sure thing.
If you want this
baby, you're going to have to WORK for it! (submitted by PAK Man)
In every new generation, there are almost always evolutions or
pre-evolutions to previously released Pokemon. However, the only way
you can obtain them is by doing something extremely elaborate that has
nothing to do with the previous game.
Confusion Rule
When your
pokémon is confused, it will always “hurt
itself
in its confusion,” but when your opponent's pokémon is confused,
every attempted attack succeeds flawlessly.
Sleep Corollary to the Confusion Rule
When your
pokémon tries to use Sing or Hypnosis, it
will
always miss. But when your opponent's pokémon uses Sing or
Hypnosis,
every attempt succeeds flawlessly.
It's Better to Give Than to Recieve
There are always a
handful of people who are willing to give
away tons of freebies, ranging from Potions to rare (and probably
expensive)
TMs and HMs, really expensive bicycles and perfectly good fishing rods
to
the first random person who comes along and humors them in a little
small
talk (which always happens to be your character, no matter how many
other
people are standing around in that same area before you got there).
HM-Acquiring Rule
You will always
recieve the big five HMs (Cut, Fly,
Strength,
Surf, and Flash), in a specific order. Cut, Flash, Strength, Surf, Fly.
And you usually recieve Cut in the town with your first Gym Badge.
Bad Tour Guides
After you leave your
hometown to start you pokemon journey,
the
first town will always always ALWAYS have someone who'd be more then
happy
to give you a tour of the town, even though it's more often than not
the
smallest town in the game.
Someone's getting cheated…
Letting your six
pokémon rest until they are
completely
healed is free. Buying a Super Potion to heal some of the hit
points
of one of your pokémon costs about a hundred bucks.
Sleeeeeep!
Your Pokemon heal
when you go to sleep. And you can only
sleep
when 1) you talk to your mom or 2) find a bed inside a large building
controlled
by Team Rocket/Aqua/Magma/Galactic/Plasma, which doesn't seem to mind
you using their
facilities.
“Trading Spaces” doesn't exist in the Pokémon World
Every Pokémon
Center and shop in the world will look
exactly
the same on the inside, making it impossible to tell any of them
apart.
Shops are the same way.
Must be Restricted Buildings
There are always a
whole bunch of buildings with no
entrances
or paths leading up to them, making you wonder what purpose they could
possibly
serve.
I'd like to thank all the little people I stepped on to get
this far...
There's also always
a corporate tower, whose president you
must
always save or do a favor for, who always gives you something in
return.
Invisible Pokemon Rule 1
It is always
blocking your way to SOMETHING important.
Invisible Pokemon Rule 2
The scope that makes
it visible is always manufactured by
the
major company of the region.
Law of Monopoly
There is only ever
ONE company which manufactures
EVERYTHING,
except local specialties and herbs. Plus, it ain't illegal.
Worthless Money
Everything useful
costs hundreds, and you start off with
3000.
Every shingle one is the same
All houses in a
given town have color-coordinated roofs.
First Gym is Never First
The first Gym you
encounter will never be accessible until
you've
defeated at least four of the other Gym leaders. I guess new trainers
shouldn't
get too excited when they see their first big, shiny Gym building...
Hey,
Champ in the Making!! (submitted by Deayon Bargor)
There's always this creepy guy inside the gyms who's there to give you
advice about the Gym Leader by telling you what types are best against
the Gym Leader's pokemon.
Is that a
PokéBall in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
If the Gym Leader is a female, the guy who gives you advice will be
perving on the ladies inside when he's not giving you advice.
"You
mean the Frontier Brain is a girl!?"
(submitted by Chris 0)
No matter what region you are in there will always be more male Gym
Leaders than there are female.
Afraid
of the dark (submitted by Chris 0)
No gym will ever specialize in dark-type pokemon.
So What Did You Do Yesterday?
Unless the gym was
previously closed or you meet the gym
leader
before, they always seem to be happy to sit in their gym and work up a
nice
taunt to the aspiring young trainer who whoops them easily.
Excuse me while I faint
If the protagonist loses a battle, he passes out. If anyone else loses,
they
just stand there and don't go to heal their Pokemon.
I
don't have just
one Level 60 Dragonite...I have about a million of them
(submitted by mitchell kaufman)
No matter how many times you beat a trainer, their pokemon will never
ever gain any experience.
Run Forest Run
There is exactly one
forest in the game, and that forest
will
be located right before you get to the city containing the game's first
accessible
Pokémon Gym.
Terrifying Towers
Every region will
have several towers, and at least one of
these
towers will contain spirits or ghosts.
Run by the people, for the people
None of the towns or
cities you'll encounter has any form of
government or police force, but Team Rocket is seen as criminals for
"breaking
the law."
Maybe they're too
busy eating doughnuts? (submitted by Anthony Jake La)
What little police are around
are really slack, none moreseo than the police in Sinnou. There
is a small building where Team Galaxy temporarily
hangs out, yet nobody seems to want to report criminal activity that’s
coming
from inside. Their headquarters is in an even more obvious
building and
yet people ignore the suspicious people running around the city.
Money-Wasters' Town
In all of the big,
big cities, there will be both a casino
and
a department store.
I'll see your 50, and raise you a lollipop!
Also, in the newer
games, the man who guides you will never
even
MENTION to you what a casino looks like, what you can do inside it, and
what games there are. Because we ALL know that the TEN year old kid
just
starting his pokemon journey is the MASTER of gambling.
That Name is Perfect!
Every once in a
while, you will stumble upon a trainer who
wants
to trade his/her pokémon for one of your own. It's very kind of
them,
but when you get the pokémon, they will always have a really
bizarre
nickname that you can't change, no matter how much you want to.
Lazy trader
There will be at
least one person who wants to trade his
rare
Pokmon for one that can be easily caught just outside the town that
person's
in.
Do as I say, not as I do!
The protagonist will
disapprove of Team Rocket's plans to
use
pokémon for profit and gain, yet has no objection to buying a
Porygon
or a Dratini from a casino.
Wow, they must be strong
The fact that a
Tentacool can carry a ten-year old boy
around
using its "Surf" technique with the same ease that a Wailord can is
never
questioned.
Don't forget to wave
The water is almost
always
calm and the weather conditions just right for you to go
surfing on.
Hydrophobia
You will inevitably
face a stretch of "road" that is nothing
but water. On this road you will face numerous swimmers who don't mind
being
stuck in the middle of the ocean treading water. You, however, can't
swim
a stroke, relying solely on your Pokemon to carry you -- even after
they've
fainted.
Get
off my property! (submitted by Duke)
In battle,
pokémon only have about a three foot radius to move in and never
move any farther away. Even physical attacks like Tackle and Body
Slam never actually connect and are instead implied by seeing the
pokemon's reaction after the fact.
Trainers want some attention too
Trainers will
initiate battles by saying just about anything
they feel like. A seemingly harmless comment about the weather or
the comfort and convenience of wearing shorts is most likely an
invitation
to battle, so be careful.
Invincible Trainers (submitted
by XD375)
It seems people are unaffected by a Pokémon's attack. Explosion,
for
example, hits all the Pokémon on the field, yet the trainers
remain
unharmed. Even the Surf attack, which you actually see a wave going
over the trainer in the console games, doesn't seem to make them wet
or anything.
The Tactical Espionage Action rule
No matter how hard
you try, you will always end up in the
sights
of a trainer and thus will have to fight him or her (even if they are
spinning
on the spot).
And round and round and round and round
And on that note,
why on heck are those trainers spinning on
the spot?
Law of Lass' Personal Security
A Lass will
invariably be worried about the protagonist
touching
her. This will lead to a battle involving disgustingly cute
pokémon
such as Igglybuff, Cleffa and their evolutions.
Dumb Fisher Rule
No matter how hard
you try, you always have to battle a
fisher
who always fights with his five low-level Magikarp.
In rod we trust
Fishing Rods cannot
be bought, but instead must be obtained
from
wizened old fisherman (who will not tell you where THEY bought it).
Must use batteries or something...
A solar beam can be
created inside of a cave.
What's this
"Property of Bruce Wayne" sign about? (submitted by Duke)
Every cave in every country is infested with Zubat and Golbat, both of
whom always know Confuse Ray and are always successful with it. You
can't take five steps in any random cave without running into a bat
Pokémon who, thanks to their high speed, manages to confuse your
Pokémon right off the (pun intended) bat.
$100 HM's > $5
Flashlights (submitted by Duke)
The protagonist never thinks of bringing a flashlight or two with them.
Instead, they have to use their Pokémon's "Flash" ability.
Eat
your carrots! (submitted by
William)
No matter
how pitch black a cavern may be, you will always find trainers just
standing around, ready to fight.
I don't care weather you like it or not...
Except for some
rain, hail, or extreme sunlight (which are
cause
by Pokémon), there are no other weather conditions, like windy,
chilly,
or cloudy.
Miracle Gro rule
You will Cut the
same sapling blocking the road more than
once,
usually one minute after the last time you Cut it.
Pikachu! Flash
your opponent! (submitted by Duke)
HMs, with the exception of Surf, are almost always useful out on the
field, but complete crap inside the battle arena.
No wonder he just walks everywhere...
Bicycles and other
forms of personal transportation are
always
ridiculously expensive.
And suddenly YOU'RE the slow one...
No matter how fast
you get there, the cruise ship will be
sold
out of tickets.
Road not traveled?
You have to use all
sorts of Pokémon and HMs just to
get
from town to town. What about the normal folk? How do they go
from
town to town?
Limited Transportation Rule
For some reason, a
pokémon who uses Fly can only drop
you off at the front of a Pokémon Center.
Super-Limited Transportation Rule
The mass transit
system, whether it's a boat or a train,
will
always connect just two cities to each other.
Sleepy ferry
When you ride the
ferry, it will never stop at its
destination
until you sleep in your bed. You could walk around for days talking to
people
or battling, or go to sleep as soon as you get on, and when you wake
up,
you are instantly there.
Big Fat Pokemon Rule
There will
only be one remaining specimen of the area's biggest
pokémon, and he will always be blocking the road to the next
town.
Truly Legendary?
You never hear about any
popular towns or people until about
15 minutes before you reach the place or meet the person. Surely you
would
be able to research the Internet or look in a book to see who the Elite
Four/Five are and what their pokémon are, or to see just how to
get
to a certain town.
Legendary Pokemon Rule 1
Every legendary
pokémon is always hidden away in some
cave that would be easily accessible if only the adjacent city would
take
the time to build a bridge.
Legendary Pokémon Rule 2
The more difficult
it is to capture a legendary
pokémon,
the more you'll be told that you can't use it in any official
tournaments.
But hey, you can still brag, right?
Legendary Pokémon Rule 3
The super rare
Legendary Pokémon can all be found in
your
tiny little part of the country instead of
spread
out across the world.
Elite Five Rule
Despite being called
the Elite Four, the final challenge of
the
game always involves fighting five trainers consecutively.
Hey, I remember you!
You will have always
met the fifth member of the Elite Four
(or
The Champion as they like to call him) previously in the game, and most
of
the time he or she will have been the person who helped you beat the
villains
of
the game
Pokemon League Deja vu
No matter how many
times the protaganist beats the Elite
Four
(or should I say, Five), they will always greet him with the same
comments
before and after the battles, as if they're battling him for the first
time.
Even the top professor can't seem to remember that this is your 50th
time
defeating the Elite Four, and that he's given you the same
congratulations
speech countless times before.
Word of Mouth Rule
No matter how quick
you are to beat someone (i.e. the
Champ),
everybody knows about it the second it happens and is there to
congratulate
you.
Handy Pokédex Rule
No matter how fast
the pokemon is or how much of a hurry
you're
in, you always have time to whip out your Pokédex, give the
pokemon
time to pose for a picture, record a sample of its voice, and trace its
migration
patterns in the wild.
Regional Pokedex?
In every region, the
Pokedex is by default ordered
differently
than the previous version.
This list is a collaborative effort and has been made
possible by the contributions of the following people:
Dogasu (me)
Wujaman
Duke
Mary
Niemi
kim
rh
AnimeDreamer36
Petey
Sando
Shojo
XinuX
Michael Napier
Skye Genki
Zhen Lin
Minna
Jinjojess
Craig
Burt Kroner
XD375
PAK Man
Anthony Jake La
mitchell kaufman
William
Chris 0
Aaron Hall
Deayon
Bargor